Copacabana

Sorry for the existential analysis. Wait..No I'm not.

So the interviews went well but I'm thinking there was some unintentional self-sabotaging going on. It's almost my way of testing how much someone wants me -- personally as well as professionally -- because frankly, if they're just lukewarm that sets a tone, almost a hierarchical one, that I think is detrimental to most relationships. Let me explain...

A working relationship, unless you're the big boss, is already a hierarchy. So I have to know, going in, that my potential employer sees me as I am: independent, creative, ready to work, able to make mistakes and recover, etc, etc. so that there's not a layer of disrespect covering the dynamic. I do not function well in circumstances where there's a shortage of respect on either side of the table. I do not have to agree with you, nor you with me, but in my code (as Ayn Rand would say -- still buried in that enormous philosophy...) a lack of respect is the one thing that will shut down all relationships and chances at negotiation. So unless I let people know going in what they can expect of me by, as my father put it when I told him about the interviews, "opening my heart a little," I feel like I'm being disrespectful by being obsequious and brown-nosy just to secure the job. There's no way to overstate how bad I am at being a brown nose...

All this led me to tell the newspaper I interviewed with (even after speaking to the reporter who formally held the position and has since taken a job with their main competitor who told me that all they want to know is that I need to be a reporter with their paper more than I need to breathe) that I couldn't lie about why I applied for the position. That there were times when I hated being a reporter. "It's probably not what you want to hear, " I said. "But I can't say I loved it. I'm just really, really good at it."

I can honestly say I have no idea how they took it. But I'm nothing if not my father's daughter and so his philosophy that you will only find your own particular happiness by being completely true to your needs and honest with your fellow men/women is my philosophy as well.

In any event, I'll be sending out more applications next week...

But lighter things followed like this:



and then Dan's artistic photo, which no one believed would be good but turned out to be really good which led Dan to say, "Um, I am an artist..." (and he is. I'll take photos so you can see):



Katie does indeed rock the house. She's very, very chill. I like that.

posted by Lola @ 11:09 AM