I'm taking the week off next week to move and it occurs to me: I haven't taken more than a couple days off in a row in over 4 years. Something is seriously wrong in my brain... No wonder it feels like my soul is dying.
Went and watered the rose bushes at my new house this morning. This was a good decision, albeit a tiring one...
One more thing: I heard that there's a rumor circulating that La Jolie might try to induce labor for the day of the Aniston/Vaughn movie premiere. Having some fairly recent experience with someone who would do something that loopy I can say that self-loathing causes bad decisions and folks are never the better for it. I know girls that looked like Aniston probably made you feel pretty bad as a younger person Ange but get over it already, K?
I never thought I'd say this because I considered it a harsh reality at the time, but I really miss working in environment where, if you didn't know what the hell was going on you were considered a tool and people had no qualms about pointing out your faults in this regard. Having spent time in an, um, different kind of environment for the past few years I can honestly say I miss the brutal truth. At the very least it forces you to improve or perish, which is quite different (as much as I'm currently told otherwise) than backing the right horse or perishing, if you know what I mean...
Anyhoo, as soon as I bought a house, as Murphy's Law dictates, everything else in my life began to fall apart, most recently the CD player in my car. So, while I'm waiting to have a new one installed (can't decide if I want the dealership model -- which is very nice -- or go the cheaper route and have a dashboard full of filler...) I've been listening to a lot of radio. She Wants Revenge has a really good song out called "Tear You Apart" (video directed by my buddy Joaquin Phoenix). Very dark, very weird, very catchy.
Gnarls Barkley (Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo) have a record out of which the track "Crazy" is awesome.
“Funny How? Funny like a clown? Am I here for your amusement?”
I'm seriously distracted by this site. My brothers are right -- I'm such a girl... But, I mean, they have an all-bunny Tuesday... come on...I'm powerless to resist...
I've been swimming since I was about 4. Competitvely for about 10 years in my youth. I even placed regionally in fly (13th, but who's counting?). Water is almost as natural an element to me as air.
But once, when I was about 6 or 7, I jumped off my grandfather's fishing boat while it was anchored about a 1/4 mile off shore in the Potomac River. My sister Laura and cousin Mary Maragaret, who were three years older, were being particularly dismissive of me and they had decided to swim to shore. So, by God, would I.
It is the one and only time I can remember a near panic in the water. About halfway in I became very tired and could feel myself losing strength (probably owing to the choppy water) and I'll be damned if I didn't really believe I might die in that murky water that day. Somehow I made it (most likely on adrenaline overload due to the panic because I don't remember the rest of the swim). The next thing I do remember is dragging my tired ass onto my Aunt Dorothy's dock (two houses down the river) and turning back to look at my relieved father on the boat who's body language suggested something like this: "You're an idiot...but nice swim."
Michael Crichton has an excellent article on his site about fear and misinformation and how they do more damage than the things they are warning us about. Complete with lots of colorful graphs and photos. I found the part about what really happend to the wildlife at Yellowstone National Park particularly edifying...
"At any moment there are 1,500 electrical storms on the planet. A tornado touches down every six hours. We have ninety hurricanes a year, or one every four days. Again, right on schedule. Violent, disruptive, chaotic activity is a constant feature of our globe.
Is this the end of the world?No: this is the world. It’s time we knew it."
It took me a while, but I finally understand the uproar over this show being canceled. It's pure genius. A few clips to get you started but then go rent all three seasons...
Apparently Maddox wrote a book. It's likely to be lung-crushingly funny. Since I'm a girl, I have to act all offended; but maybe my guy friends can secretly tell me about it over a few beers...
I knew I liked this band. Not only is Hot Fuss a great album, but this is Brandon Flowers customized playlist from Rhapsody. And he's also really cute...
Maledictum evil staples! Thou hath been vanquished by the brave Knight Brother Christian who hath rescued the fair (ahem...) maiden from a tower of upturned nails and folded metal. All to wear the title of Prince Charming. And so you shall.
(Thanks Christian. One day I'll pay you back. I promise...)
My Pop is a pretty funny guy. He recently sent this to me in an email knowing I would laugh aloud at work thereby causing all those who currently dislike me to dislike me even more believing my laughter to be directed at them (which, let's face it, it is because I picture them while reading the following.) Thanks Pop! I'm so glad we can bond over our shared ability to wickedly call it like it is through the magic of word games. My favorite: 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's {2005} winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Are we ever going to come to some sort of consensus and realize exactly the kind of totalitarian and belligerant future this kind of rhetoric (not even loosely) is referring to?
Fun = pulling 1800 million staples out of hardwood floors with a pair of pliers. You may never know the joy, so take it from me -- it's like swimming a sea of brown water searching for plankton.
Thought for the day-- when people hint around about their tendencies, it is probably generally advisable that you listen.
I actually heard on TV someone say these words: "It's great for a band like the Pussycat Dolls..." Yes, I know. It's like calling Captain Kangaroo a military officer.
