Copacabana

Those who do not learn from history...

While I was all laid up in bed this past week, feelin' all sorry for myself and stuff, I had a lot of time to think and I came to a few conclusions. 1.) It gets easier and easier as the years go by to rid myself of circumstances -- and, dare I say, individuals -- whom I perceive as detrimental to my mission, i.e. avoiding pain, misery and humiliation in life. 2.) I'm not sure if this growing ease is something I should be too proud of.

All I know is that when you're feeling like you may never get out of bed again certain things take on an air of importance and other things that really demanded attention become rather silly.

I'm sure all this nonsensical soul searching is a direct result of the fact that I have always had a blessed but freakish constitution that allowed me to avoid most of the illnesses people succumb to for most of my life. Alas, age catches up with you and eventually you become a mere mortal and have to face your increasing vulnerability to the world. No easy task for this kid.

Oddly, all this epiphany time led me to think about a concert I went to in college -- probably because of the direct correlations I've been making between present people in my life and the past people who actually attended this concert with me -- which in turn led me to dig out some old CDs to put into the trusty new MP3 player, which has become my pet project of late.

This band had just released the album that "made" them but no one had heard of them when my roommate's boyfriend convinced us to go see them play with these guys, who put out one of the greatest CDs of all time. Some friends from high school came up to visit and one of them, my friend Matt, was such a gentleman that he refused to let me jump around in the mosh pit with him. That really meant something to me then. I should be embarrassed by that but I'm not...

This song came on a later album but is one of my favorites and almost makes me cry every time I hear it because, as good as it is to recognize what prevents you from being happy, it's also incredibly bittersweet remembering how it felt to let it all go.

Here's this one, too, just because it's awesome.


Man, I can't wait till I'm back to not caring again...

posted by Lola @ 11:57 AM