Copacabana

I need a drink

As a writer, it's pretty much in my nature to analyze. It's not a compulsion or a need. It's a tendency, some deeply embedded genetic code that dictates my brain synapses. And I mean quite literally, when there's something to analyze, I can actually feel those synapses firing. As a matter of fact, it is this tendency that forces one to write, not the other way around.

That said, I know these little online journals are really not the appropriate places to wax literary or discuss personal philosophy except as it can be boiled down into neat, pithy nuggets of funny. However, something occurred to me last night and I have to get it out or it festers and dies and then tastes like shit for years to come. So here it is:

Giving people the tools of your destruction is actually really wise. There are some people who are like rebellious kids in the drugstore -- they, the owner, their parent, everyone knows they're gonna steal that pack of gum. They look around waiting for the shot when no one's looking. And when it comes they take it, even though they like the owner, come to this drugstore all the time and have had meaningful discussion with their parents about why stealing is bad. Rebellion, just to see what the outcome will be, is in their nature. Probably the reason the world still turns really.

My point is that some kids will always steal that pack of gum and some people will always attempt to destroy others' little kingdoms and sense of safety. These things, like analysis for me, are in their nature. It is no use trying to stop the flood. The nexus of nature/nurture that fuels the wave is way too powerful.

So generally, I hand over the keys to the kingdom early, which is something my sister is always on to me about. "Why do you give people the map to your castle?"

Because these people born or trained to destroy are gonna do it anyway. It is, as I said, in their nature. If they have the map, maybe it'll facilitate the action and the band-aid gets pulled off quick and the pain isn't prolonged. Sometimes it feels like giving in to a spoiled child. "Here, just do what you gotta do. I can take it."

Either way, I'm aware of it Juli. Some innate intelligence in me has just decided it's the wise thing to do.

And because I haven't listened to it in a very long time but was some of my music of choice when I was leaving for college and therefore is associated with great change for me, here're three songs by the former Cat Stevens. Find some peace this weekend. I'll be looking, too. Maybe we'll see each other.

Father & Son by Cat Stevens

The Wind by Cat Stevens

Wild World by Cat Stevens

posted by Lola @ 9:08 AM