Copacabana

I would have an automatic redirect but I don't own the domain

2009-06-29T15:05:00.002-04:00

Okay, I'm officially here. Come visit me...

Look don't make me size it up

2009-06-26T13:40:00.003-04:00

So Juje and I were talking last night about the current administration's continuing efforts to "create a marketplace" in the energy sector and the health care sector and the automotive sector...

Juje has a theory about President Obama. It's very interesting -- she maintains that he is a semantic genius because he has one of the most subtle touches with the old ploy of using facts to prop up lies. She detailed for me one of the many times he did this during his ObamaCare address (which I have yet to watch. I have a hard time with reality if it scares me so I'll deal with it when I can...). She said that he spoke of the healthcare industry as a "growth industry" before immediately asserting that if it wasn't taken in hand by the government it could bankrupt the country. My sister is a whole lot smarter than I am. That would have floated right on over my head. But she pulled the double take and apparently told her man Rog that she hoped "people are really listening to this." Because, as she incredulously asked me over the phone, how could a growth industry bankrupt us? It's growing and has the potential for more growth so how exactly is it in danger of doing that opposite of that if you just leave it alone...just think about it for a second...you'll get it...

Then there's cap and tax, which may pass today, that contains, as WaPo puts it:

"a system of caveats, safety valves and rule changes meant to satisfy unhappy Democrats. The result is legislation that could transform the U.S. energy industry -- and allow both Wall Street and the Corn Belt to build a side business in carbon."

And who is their business partner in that side business of carbon do you think? Yet another government-controlled market. Look, I've been yelled at before for saying this and I'm not trying to be paranoid but it does kinda look like our federal government wants state-owned private business ventures. I mean, doesn't it? I challenge you to find other examples of this kind of thing in history. You will be surprised. And not pleasantly.

And, I find it interesting that the big outcry from the left is how cap and tax won't cost $3,100 per household like those evil Republicans keep trying to say it will by using somewhat refuted information from an MIT report. Rather, it will only cost about $175 per household. Another clever trick ladies and gents. It doesn't have to raise energy costs at all you see -- if it's not passed. But hey, at least it's not over three grand...advertising is a beautiful thing. Here's a nice little video featuring Ben Lieberman, the Heritage Foundation's Senior Policy Analyst for Energy and Environment, that should answer some questions about misconceptions about carbon emissions in general.

Anyway, I learned how to do this last night so I could go to a little disco dance this weekend. My younger brother and I have always cut quite the fierce rug at most weddings/family events but now I have actual proper steps to show him -- and anyone else who wants to learn. So, in honor of a few things I give you a little Michael Jackson before he believed the hype and just some cool choreography from one of my faves (and I have a little crush on Evan. Just sayin'...).

Blame it on the boogie this weekend.

Determining what interests us

2009-06-24T11:57:00.003-04:00

I hope to be totally and officially moved here by the end of the weekend. Thanks for bearing with me. I just wanted to check things out and familiarize myself with the protocol at the new pad before I leaped full-body into the sea of change. It's just how I roll.

So, my question about why this wasn't being covered was answered most expeditiously by Jr. when he noted with a verbal shoulder shrug that, "If it were Jon and Kate trying to cross the border into Switzerland you can bet your ass they'd cover it." And, of course, he's right. What does that say about us? I'm not even sure it's something bad necessarily...what makes the dissolution of a family and the vilification of one or both of the parents more interesting than international intrigue that rivals any spy thriller ever written? I honestly don't have the answer. I guess that's why I've never really gotten into daytime television...

On a more serious note, the murder of Neda Soltan was something I had avoided watching when I came across video links to it in my daily internet news crawl. It was enough for me to hear about it; I had no interest in watching the life ebb from this woman's body. Well, as is the case with martyrs, the need to reveal the details has been palpable and so I caught the video the other day on tv. Know something? I'm glad I saw it. It was sickening to watch this woman die in the street like that and I'm certain that she was targeted less for standing and watching a demonstration, or for being a Muslim woman dressed in Western-style clothes, than for being calm and dignified -- if the pre-shooting video and reports from friends can be believed -- and tragically beautiful. There are those in this world who hate those things -- in every culture -- and seek to destroy them. It's not a gender thing either -- it's a spirit thing. It's a kind of light that people have and I saw it in her even as Ms. Soltan lay dying. Isn't anyone else tired of that kind of thing? I know it's been with humanity from the beginning but I hope that Neda's death reminds us that it's an ugly, ugly thing. And we should battle it -- with words, thoughts, ideas, and, if necessary, force. The Iranians are in the midst of the battle as we speak. May God bless them.

Mr. Giggles looks a bit like Stella

2009-06-22T13:03:00.004-04:00

I'm cursed with a barometer for sinuses. Had I been born a thousand years ago I would have been hailed a witch or shaman or something because I can definitely predict when it will rain. The pressure in the air gives me near-blinding headaches. So pardon my brevity today. I'm in pain. But my Pops told me about this yesterday and I'm just flummoxed as to why this isn't all over the news? Even if it's bogus? Can someone explain...?

Also, if you are currently engaged in some behind-the-back shenanigans (you know who you are) regarding this kid and are wondering how to approach me, just keep away for a little while. I'm not really interested in the explanation. I'm sure it's as base, boring and illogical as these things usually are and I'm just not in the mood for verbal tap dancing. I have other, more positive things that need focusing on and you're likely to get a dose of Mr. Giggles. Just sayin'.

UPDATE: more on the bond story. I'm having trouble finding really recent news reports so if you see any send em to me. I'm just interested is all.

Happy Father's Day Pops

2009-06-21T09:56:00.002-04:00

You definitely taught me how to deal with those who would steal my crayons. I thank you for that.

Know thy limits

2009-06-19T13:08:00.006-04:00

I gotta go with this here, but for slightly different reasons. Yes, the White House was correct to keep its mouth shut on the topic of Iran, but just wait for it because it's kind of a backhanded compliment. There's a lot out right now about what Reagan said when confronted with these kind of human rights abuses around the world -- and make no mistake, that's what they are. Inalienable rights people. Believe in them. Squashing the people's right to speak out about how they want to be governed is a direct violation of the idea that we are endowed (you're right Juje; it is a good word) with certain rights at birth -- and they remind us that there's little doubt the Great Communicator was a great communicator. So, for Reagan to remain silent would have been a tragedy. Obama on the other hand...yeah, best if you don't say anything. You're just in over your head. Again. But these are all great learning experiences. Four years from now you might make a great President...okay, sorry for the snark. But I do think it will be interesting to see how he processes these things and what kind of politician -- and person -- he becomes as a result.

Also, my town mourns the temporary loss of a great venue that was a feature of this kid's college years. Not that I remember any of it but I was there. A lot. Sounds like renovation is possible so bring on the new! That's actually a really good thing.

Listening to this because of the following. I'm telling you guys, you want the girls? Learn to move...

Beat the heat this weekend.

Happy Birthday Mr. Pincus

2009-06-17T12:24:00.003-04:00

Baby D. informed me today that it was Barry Manilow's birthday so I thought I'd take a minute to explain why this blog is named after one of his songs: because when I was trying to think of a name for this blog "Copacabana" just popped into my head. Much like when my first, and perhaps best, best friend Chris named his childhood pet cat Cucumber because that's what he happened to be thinking of when the mangy stray walked around the corner of his house. I am not a secret "fanilow" like Baby D. (who, by the way, makes one adorable pregnant chick), although we did sing "I Write the Songs" in chorus in elementary school (do you remember that Baby D.? Is that why you hero worship him? Mrs. Brasher just wrecked you didn't she?) and I've always kinda liked the song "Mandy." But it's nothing deeper than that.

I know. Barry Manilow does not hold any deep meaning for me and that seems somewhat disingenuous I imagine. I'm just a word dork and the word had a nice cadence and was evocative of a mish-mash of celebratory imagery. Just like this blog. So it worked see?

Happy Birthday Barry. Thanks for the inadvertent inspiration.

And, here's this because, really, it is kinda awesome...

UPDATE: this deserves its own post (stolen a'course from Hot Air) because it's a beautiful indictment of superficiality and explains a lot about the kind of mindset that decides the merit of people based on their "sweet hipster style." I'm just gonna tack it on here though rather than wait a day because it's just that important. Didn't anyone ever tell you Yglesias about the folly of judging a book by its cover? What kind of simpleton are you? It's always strange to realize that there are some people who never emotionally mature past high school. Let me make it simple for you Yglesias: popular does not equal good. And a cool beard does not a good man make. Why do you not know this? Astounding...

Role reversal

2009-06-15T12:23:00.004-04:00

I saw a roach the size of a Buick in my kitchen last night. I sprayed it and watch the neurotoxins shake the spark of life from it before I got disturbed that I was somewhat enjoying watching the death of a living creature and shut the door to the laundry room so I could at least find the carcass later. Then I had a dream about a lizard approaching a spider on a limb and I expected my mind to show me that pink lizard tongue shooting out and nabbing that spider in a nice tasty, non-gruesome lunch. No. My mind has a cruel streak. Instead, the spider jumped backward onto the lizard's neck and bit down and then -- get this -- ate the lizard's head. I woke up about 3:30 am and didn't get back to sleep again.

I only tell you this because a.) I'm exhausted and am prone to ramble -- more so than usual if that's even possible and b.) I think it's a nice segue into talking about what's going on in Iran at the moment and how Obama was just like that lizard in my dream -- you thought you could just approach that spider with your powerful lizard tongue and he'd be sure to just play the part of spider lunch? I mean, just talk to that spider and he'll surely see that he has a role to play and that trying to play something else is futile. The lizard is, after all, bigger, more powerful, prettier and has a whole history of lizard-spider interaction on his side.

Well Mr. President, that spider has ignored your assertions about where he fits into the food chain and just jumped backward and is about to deliver the bite. Do you think he's ready to listen yet about how he's just a spider? Maybe since he's on your head he'll hear you better. And this, by the way, is always the danger of elitism. The world just may not work the way you and your powerful friends think it does. How you managed to get where you've gotten without learning this is a mystery to me. But welcome to the reality club. It's a little scary but at least we tend to be prepared.

Jr., btw, is looking east to Korea, which is probably wise because they are watching with interest what's happening. He also tells me that this is why he believes stabilizing the region by weakening the natural enemies of the tiny dictator is proving to be somewhat dangerous. I don't know if I agree but I can see his point.

I'm pulling for your Mr. President. Maybe you should give W. a call...

Turn and face the strange

2009-06-12T13:21:00.003-04:00

Hi. I'm moving. Well, this little blog is anyway. I hope the rest of my life follows on its heels. Why it takes me so long to accomplish something that others accomplish seemingly (well to me, but I might be biased) so quickly is something I try not to think about because, as Paul Simon noted, good days ain't got no rain. And when I can control the weather, I will.

Anyway, you can see what the new place looks like here. I'm still working on it so I'll probably post to both for a while. Feeling pretty good about it because the images and videos and things weren't supposed to easily import based on everything I read but they seem to have made the transition intact. So there's that. Let the sun shine.

Here's your reading for the weekend. I give it to you to remind you that science changes its mind a lot (ahem, global warming) and you should really take that into consideration. (Thanks again Hot Air.)

Don't bow to peer pressure this weekend.

As simple as a flower and that's a complicated thing

2009-06-10T12:32:00.003-04:00

Gettin' ready to travel to the old hometown tonight to see this man play in concert with some of the fam. Someone told me the other day when I told them about this show that he was "kinda old." Dear Lord help these people understand that the Reverend defies the laws of space and time.

And briefly -- and I hope to have more to say on this later -- I saw the movie Doubt last night. As a Catholic I thought it was a nice exploration of the tricky dualities we humans are constantly grappling with, in this case doubt vs. faith. Here's some light reading on the subject (all those religion classes coming back to haunt...) I'm having a conversation with someone else at the moment about something bordering on this dichotomy -- it's more related to, I think, how something can be both beautiful and tragic at the same time -- but it started me thinking about paradoxes and contradictions and then this film kind of solidified where I was going in my head with all that because you're forced to deal with characters who are filled with faith, doubt, truth, lies -- all simultaneously. I'll have to really work it out before I talk more about it but I do love some John Patrick Shanley, who wrote the play and then the screenplay and, finally, directed the film. He's responsible for Moonstruck as well -- brilliant film ("Do you love him Loretta? "Ma, I love him awful..." "Aw that's too bad...") and one of my top five faves, easily overlooked because the stars are seen as pretty schmaltzy, but I think it's a profound little movie and it makes me happy. It's called Joe Versus the Volcano. I've included my favorite scene -- one of my favorite scenes from any movie in fact. Also, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, bless you for this. Reading the customer reviews ensures hours of hilarity...

Rest well Luke

2009-06-09T11:42:00.003-04:00

Sadness. Drew said this about him and I think it's a fitting goodbye:

"He was my problem child, my brother, my friend and my confidant. He experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life with me and never wavered from his loyal position."

We'll all miss you buddy.

Ana Ng and I are gettin' old

2009-06-08T13:54:00.005-04:00

Hi my peeps. I have many things for you to consider. But first I want to ask that, should you actually read this (does anyone actually read this? I have no idea and, really, would prefer not to know. Doesn't stop me from being logically inconsistent and appealing to my "readers." Cause that's how I roll...), you stop for a minute and send me some love and kind thoughts and prayers if that's your thing. I need them to send along to people I love who have some challenges they're facing. Anything you can spare. Just gimme a good thought -- connect an image of this little online diary with a picture in your head of something awesome. You know, like ring pops or some weird umbrella drink on the beach at sunset. Something like that. It'll be a good thing you're doing. Promise.

That said, I sent my parents to Chastain Park to see a band called Pink Martini (the tickets were for mother's day and I didn't ask the folks if they were even available on the date of the show. I just bought them and sent them and -- how cool are Lola's parents? -- they went.) Mom called me from the show just to let me hear what it sounded like and said (warning: butchered quote to follow), "the drummer of the opening band had on a pink shirt, a red skirt, cowboy boots and a sheared off mohawk." She loved it. Of course, Pops looked them up online and made his typical "damn liberals" comment but Mom said he enjoyed himself and remarked that he'd never seen a band where the mandolin was the lead instrument for several songs. Dang my parents are hip. Here's a video of the band. I think I would've liked the show as well...

Also, this is freaking me out. It reminds me of this movie, which features Joaquin Phoenix in a role that broke my heart and I will never be able to watch again. Suffice to say he has a monologue about finding God in a Southeast Asia prison and that's a theme that has some import at the moment so I thought I'd throw it out there. It's a difficult film -- I broke down while watching it -- but probably an important one, too. So see it. Really, you should.

UPDATE: I found the clip. Boy shoulda won an Oscar.

And, for some levity because who doesn't need that on a Monday, the best 80s videos -- I think a few are missing like A-Ha or anything by Duran Duran (Rio, Hungry Like the Wolf, Wild Boys...or Adam Ant. He had ridiculous ones, too...)-- but still diverting, and this article which I think is hilarious and I just picture some of the dudes (or ladies) I work with being tapped for this kind of thing. Hackers like to believe they are sooooo lunatic fringe. It's okay to be mainstream guys. Really. Just make sure you keep a little edge. It's what we all have to do.

Having a hard time finding that silver lining on this one

2009-06-04T11:22:00.006-04:00

Before I post an incredible video I shamelessly stole from a Facebook friend (you know who you are Mr. Human Resources), let's talk about jury duty, shall we? Um, I came home exhausted yesterday after deliberating for 6 hours a misdemeanor case where the guy was 100 percent guilty (trust me. no denying it. the judge declared it a mistrial because we were going to come back in today and listen to 2 1/2 hours of witness testimony again and I think he felt sorry for us. I really do.) because one of the jurors was motivated by something other than getting at the truth. And that's as diplomatic as I can be about it. I mean the lawyer for the defense actually gave us his case during closing -- big softball-sized holes he pointed out for us to consider because even defense lawyers have to be able to look at themselves in the mirror every day. But my fellow juror would not budge. I don't want to go into it except to say that I felt like I was being held hostage for pretty dark reasons and it seriously pissed me off. It depressed the hell out of me and I went home and cried and got very angry and yelled at people on the phone. Serving your civic duty shouldn't feel like that, should it? Thank you nice judge and lawyers who agreed to call a mistrial. Feeling caged and trapped is the worst feeling in the world to me -- I actually start to panic if I think about it -- and you gave me my freedom from endless circular discussions and a stifling degree of bias that -- seriously -- I'm still trying not to be angry about. Reaffirmed my belief that justice really should be blind and really isn't. I suspect this is not how I should be feeling about the experience and that makes me very sad.

So, enough of that. Everyone should read this article. It's not only incredibly well-written, the subject is fascinating and I totally want to have a beer with him. I think we could hatch ideas that could fix the world. Because I have to believe that. Did I mention I'm still grieving a loss of innocence from yesterday? Still raw...Here's a juicy quote from the piece:

"So given all that, what does Breitbart want from the perennial debate? 'All I want is a fair game,' he insists. 'I’m positive our ideas beat their ideas when the game isn’t rigged. That’s why I helped get the Huffington Post off the ground: I want everyone to hear what the Left has to say. Also, I want those of us on the Right to tell people what we believe—not to have those on the Left to do it for us.'"

And here's the video. Ah, the old hometown. I'll miss ya.

And also this video because I see signs. I may have mentioned that. Also it's just a great song.

I wish I could beam up

2009-06-01T15:25:00.003-04:00

Yeah, I got selected for jury duty today. I don't want to talk about it. I actually can't talk about it and all that. Proud to serve my civic duty but dang...

Good news? This came in my cereal box. Starfleet Command. Awesome. It is perfectly indicative of where my head's at right now: learning to embrace that inner dork and trying not to feel too bad about my lapses into social awkwardness. I've never understood the rules. Probably too late to start learning them now so I'll just take joy in my nifty little toy and go with what I know. Hope you're okay with it.

UPDATE: I steal a lot from Hot Air. Just letting you know in case you hadn't noticed. I wouldn't want anyone to think I was genius enough (or not busy enough. ahem.) to find all this stuff. Anyway, just more proof that Dick Cheney is one evil bastard.

I wonder how bad that tastes

2009-05-29T13:21:00.006-04:00

Well hey there -- I'm getting over my down time because, really, how boring. It's incredibly uninteresting to feel sorry for oneself. I forget that sometimes. My goal is to surround myself with people who remind me of that fact and not the alternative, those who attempt to keep you mired. I continue the quest. Also, I found out today that my brother Drew has a sick dog -- his buddy. his friend. -- and the prognosis isn't incredibly encouraging and that's real. I just immediately juxtaposed that with my ridiculous struggle negotiating people's tendencies toward bad behavior and it kind of threw things into perspective for me. Drew, I'm here for you and I love you.

Anyway, I recently engaged in a conversation with Steph -- who definitely falls on the left side of the fence but we somehow agree to disagree -- about how some conservatives are seen by liberals as very off-putting and rude. Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Levin, Coulter, and to a lesser degree, Malkin and Ingraham. The strongly opinionated who could really care less if a liberal has his/her feelings hurt. I have to admit -- I bristle at political invective myself, whichever side it comes from. I generally agree with the opinions of these thinkers but I definitely see how the mode of delivery could rankle people, especially -- and I don't think this is a surprise to anyone -- a group of people (liberals) who define themselves as compassionate and empathetic (the truth of this claim is another post altogether). Juje and I were discussing last night the irrational hatred of Cheney and how she thinks it's borne of of the fact that, as she said, "they don't like him and he just doesn't care." And I think there's some truth to that. Which I think speaks to the need for ego stroking more than anything else but again, another post altogether.

This is not to say that I don't appreciate the bulldogs willing to snarl and take a bite if necessary. I like having them on my side. But I'm more of a Krauthammer/Sowell conservative. The deeply intellectual and quietly -- and logically -- brilliant just appeals to me. And here's why:

"Since the 2008 election, people have been asking what conservatism stands for. Well, if nothing else, it stands unequivocally against justice as empathy -- and unequivocally for the principle of blind justice.

Empathy is a vital virtue to be exercised in private life -- through charity, respect and lovingkindness -- and in the legislative life of a society where the consequences of any law matter greatly, which is why income taxes are progressive and safety nets built for the poor and disadvantaged.

But all that stops at the courthouse door. Figuratively and literally, justice wears a blindfold. It cannot be a respecter of persons. Everyone must stand equally before the law, black or white, rich or poor, advantaged or not."

It's just a solid argument, delivered without venom or even really -- as much as this is possible -- a personal conviction. I use the word frequently but it just logically flows -- if A, then B. It makes sense. So, call me a simple truth conservative. If it makes sense, I agree.

And, just because I saw this video (oh for roughly the 978th time) this morning, but never really paid attention to how hilarious (and cute) the lead singer is -- and because it went a long way toward bringing me out of the aforementioned funk -- here it is for you. It cracks me up.

Give 'em hell this weekend.

My dark side is meaner than your dark side. So don't tempt me.

2009-05-28T12:53:00.004-04:00

Right, first off -- to my sister-in-law, who called me earlier from the pool. Dude. Are you trying to make me cry?

I found a quote I like on this blog, which I just stumbled across and am going to read for a while to see what I think. The quote is from the head of research for GM for almost 30 years, Charles Kettering, and it goes like this:

“Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get.”

I'm gonna chew on that for a little while. I also found the Dilbert on Gordian Knots, a copy of which has been hanging in the break room at work for several weeks now. And, you know, I see signs everywhere. They keep the dark side at bay. And -- if I haven't made this clear -- my dark side is a powerful thing. Beating it back is like climbing the walls of a well. It's the writer thing. Kinda sucks.

A passenger looking for meaning

2009-05-26T16:20:00.010-04:00

UPDATE: Can't believe I forgot to mention the whole reason I wanted to write this post...Brother Christian, you are the best brother a girl could have. Thank you for taking care of Stella. I think she fell head over heels for you. And the yardwork -- i'll never be able to repay you. I love you.

Hello my loves -- It's been a while and I've been neglectful but for very good reasons! Promise. The trip to DC was a success. I met some people that I believe I will see again -- and that's about as expository as I can be without bringing down the curse of the jinx by talking about things too much. Also, I finally felt like I fit. I haven't felt that way in a very, very, very long time. And, while anything can happen, that feeling has made me hungry for more. Ravenous actually. My brain is still waking up from Amtrak and subway cars and cab rides and kickball and 12-inning baseball games and being informed that I apparently have a niche skill that I had never considered before. Like I said -- successful trip. But before I post the few pictures I took -- not too many this time. I was a busy girl -- there is one thing that I wanted to throw out at you in my silly stream-of-consciousness way because I haven't worked it out yet for myself and this writing business helps me to clarify...

While talking to one organization about the differences in American political ideologies, it occurred to me that I snidely accused the left-leaning side of the isle of absolutism. "It's either black or white; this or this; or this or not this," I said with flip derision to the gentleman I was chatting with. Here's the thing: the right-side does this proudly. My father, for example, a staunch conservative, believes absolutes are the cornerstone of good principle and character. I happen to agree -- most of the time. So I'm confused by my quick, offhand assessment that lefties are quick to dismiss the gray areas. I found a quote toward the end of my trip in Levin's book, "Liberty and Tyranny" (um, Happy Father's Day Pops...Surprise!) that I think might be related and I have a sneaking suspicion that the answer to my conundrum is somewhere in between his quote and one I found today on the SCOTUS blog. Here they are respectively:

"As such, the individual in the civil society strives, albeit imperfectly, to be virtuous -- that is, restrained, ethical, and honorable. He rejects the relativism that blurs the lines between good and bad, right and wrong, just and unjust, and means and ends."

and then SCOTUS:

"Put to the side the emptiness of the labels – i.e., that one person’s principle ... is another’s 'activism.'"

I haven't worked it out but I have this idea that the answer to my confusion lies somewhere in there. I'll let you know when I work it out.

Aaaaanyway, my last day in DC I had many hours to kill before my train home so I went to church -- Catholic churches in DC are the best -- and then found a little pub. It turned out that my pub adventure was where I had some of my most interesting encounters. I met Mona and Maurice from Texas, who helped alert the bartender to my presence; then I met Meghan and Mike from NY City. Mike was an actor so I talked to him about plays and literature while Meghan and I discussed the "hardness" of DC in relation to NY. I told her about the disabled man that sneaked into the movie theater while Jr. and I were watching Star Trek and how, in the South, they would have let him finish watching the movie and yelled at him on the way out the door not to come back. It's a politeness thing we do down South. Disturbing the other patrons would not have been in order. The effort to remove him was distracting. I didn't really get that. They also told me about a restaurant and pub they were going to later that evening with friends that I won't reveal here -- I'm going to wait till I go back and then I'll write about them.

And then I met Geraint and Sue, bikers -- did I mention the Rolling Thunder thing? You can look it up -- from England. Geraint was actually Welsh by heritage so he pronounced the longest town name for me (and I hope he was impressed that I knew about it at all) and schooled me on the continuum of bike enthusiasts, from the Hell's Angels to the weekend warriors who tow their bikes behind state of the art motor homes. Good times. Oh yeah, and Doris, who got my bags on the train an hour early and who talked about finding God. It could have been a bad day since I was leaving and all. But ya know, these people made it great.

And, some reading for you because it's along the lines of what I discussed with one of the organizations I met with and also a really good song that sums things up nicely. Glad to be back. Now for photos...

Because I learned the other day the importance of titles for hits: CAFE standards = crappy cars

2009-05-20T15:37:00.009-04:00

Yo. My laptop has decided to cooperate with me on this trip so happy day. It's a good thing, too because there's been some last minute negotiating that would have been a bit difficult with just the phone. It's times like this that I understand the cult of iPhone. But only times like this.

Anyway, quickly, just wanted to introduce you to the blog of a young man I met at my little seminar. He doesn't know it -- primarily because I didn't tell him -- but I'm quite the fan of the strange and unusual as well, particularly the UFO thing. Huge fan of this show. I watch it every week. So Mr. Loki, welcome to Copacabana where it's always a party. We might look button-down but we can hold our liquor and still speak rationally -- if not always coherently. And I would've told that dude in our class exactly what I think of the CAFE standards but he was just baiting me and wouldn't have heard what I had to say. He pegged me the outsider the minute he saw me. Fortunately, I've learned to peg the instigators pretty quickly, too. But what I think is pretty much here. I will say the estimated increased automobile-related deaths presented in this article sounds a bit histrionic because, while deaths may increase initially while people acclimate to driving crappier cars, they will probably level off eventually when we collectively realize it's more dangerous on the road. Still, we're left with crappier cars. And that's no fun.

And for you Baby D -- a shot of the city from the WWII memorial (UPDATE: actually Iwo Jima memorial. I forgot there's a WWII on the mall...sigh.) where I went for a run because of its proximity to my lodgings. And, of course, my hot foot. (Also, what would a stimulus from Omaha Steaks look like? Cause I might be interested...I mean, free steak.)

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, and sometimes they're equally weird

2009-05-15T13:39:00.007-04:00

Right, so I don't know if I'll be posting much next week because I'll be in DC and my laptop is on its last leg and is doing strange things like scrolling to the end of a page when the pointer is nowhere near the scroll bar. Good news though -- the Dell 10" mini is a scant $300 so that's an upcoming purchase and the thing will fit in my purse ya'll. Awesome. As sad as it is, I still have to budget for it. Sigh.

So, till the next time we talk, here's some new music the dude at the liquor store told me about (God I sound like a lush...) when he saw on my MP3 player I was listening to The Hold Steady. He said I would like it and I do. They're touring with these guys and the names of some of their songs are just pure greatness. Also, they are the same name as one of my family's all-time fave movies -- because we are the type of family who collectively have favorite movies. ("To me you look like number 2, know what I mean?")

Also, because the real news is getting me down -- although I'm glad to see Madam Speaker's slip is finally showing in the mainstream -- I offer you some fake news. When I was a reporter, someone gave me the Our Dumb Century tear-off desk calendar and there were a few that I just tacked up to the wall because they never failed to make me laugh. Here are two of them. I'm laughing right now.

Make it up this weekend.

UPDATE: Oh please listen to Newt tell it like it is. I can't tell you how excited it makes me to hear someone finally forcefully -- and with not a small bit of justifiable seething -- talk about what the game of politics divorced from grander ideas about the greater good really accomplishes. Speak it Preacher Gingrich!

Schnookered

2009-05-13T13:36:00.002-04:00

I'm trying to prepare for my trip north next week so I'm slightly brain dead and somewhat busy so I've got very little. But I do think that if the Dems continue to block this initiative they are shooting themselves in the foot because I have a feeling violations exist and when that's discovered and the record shows repeated attempts to block investigation into the violations, voters may not be kind. But then, Republicans could be well aware of this fact, hence the repeated attempts to push it when they know damn well they'll be blocked again. Yes, I'm giving away the playbook but that's the great thing about ego -- it has a really hard time admitting when it's been had. Just a thought.

Also, I want to believe the real housewives of NY are horrible, vapid, shallow women but I can't decide if I hate everything they stand for or want very badly to go to one of their dinner parties. I mean Jill and Bethenny crack me up and Ramona would just be fun to mess with. "aggressive adjustment of tight sheath dresses" may be one of the finest and funniest grouping of words I've read in a long time. And it's accurate. I know. Cause I watched.

Preparing for the name calling

2009-05-11T12:18:00.006-04:00

A chance to learn some truth from one of your own. It's a rarity. Please, make use of it. The world thanks you. There's also this because Pops and I talked about it this weekend and he's pretty sure by the end of the summer conservative talk radio will be dead. Notice the June date when the newly appointed chairman takes office. I've already got folks looking at me like I'm crazy for suggesting it. I guess we'll just see. I hope they're right. I'd like to be crazy on this one...

Listening to this and feelin' proud of my roots.

and ya know, this just made me laugh. So here.

The following things seem unrelated but probably aren't

2009-05-08T13:22:00.003-04:00

Right, so I searched around for a better video for you Mom and all my lady peeps with kids but this one, although I've posted it before, just does the trick. Every time. To all my mommy loves, take your day Sunday. Put your feet up. Have a drink. We salute you.

I'm working working working hard so no time to talk. But I give you Juje in a NASCAR because I'm going with my pal Steph on Sunday to see the play she's currently stage managing. Apparently one of the characters is a gay, black man who can't come out of the closet about his love for NASCAR. Awesome.

I also got this via email today and it inspired me, for both the writing and the sentiment. This topic has been the basis of many a great conversation I've been having lately so I'm glad others are thinking about it and writing eloquently about something close to my heart (and thanks for sending it Junior.)

And also, because my cat Shadow spent four hours this morning crying in the echo chamber that is my hallway trying to get me out of bed so she could drink from the bathroom sink -- not because she needs to. She just WANTS to -- there's the following video. She's close to a trade in. I'm just sayin'.

The Easy Way to Make Your Cat Fun Again -- powered by Cracked.com

Pet a kitten this weekend.

Some things inspire awe

2009-05-05T13:22:00.003-04:00

Know what I think is awesome? This. And, most especially, if you look to the right, just slightly above the header, you'll see an itty bitty wittle smiley face. Awesome.

Risk assessment

2009-05-01T13:09:00.000-04:00

I like this article. As I continue to make inroads toward picking up my entire life and moving it to DC for a while (yes, snail's pace. I have my reasons. But rest assured, I am, and will always be, a die-hard Southerner. I expect you people not to let me forget that.), the concept of "assumption of risk" is one that has been at the front of my mind and definitely drives the decisions I've been making and will make further along in the process. This article is all about how federal intervention in the market damages the risk variables -- most tragically by devaluing risk to the degree that it's even more unpredictable, thereby squashing would-be entrepreneurs from entering the market. Pretty much explains how nationalization kills competition and, by extension, the free-market. Because, see, the market has no agenda except profit. Politicians on the other hand do. And they often subvert truth or justify behavior to meet that agenda. They lie people. We know this. We deal with it accordingly. And risk is definitely valued differently if you know your business partners to be truthful and have a track record to point to that they follow through on their initiatives and do what they say they're going to do. Like I said, it's a personal consideration for me as well as an umbrella statement about keeping government mitts off the free-market. Thanks for letting me stream-of-consciousness it out. Stop yawning.

And now for some funny. The mad geniuses I work with have their menu board all jazzed up again. I think this is their tent-revival agenda but I can't be sure. Whatever it is it makes me laugh. Jump for Jesus this weekend.

Somber calls them scare quotes

2009-04-29T14:42:00.002-04:00

Taking a break from the news because I just don't have the energy to be freaked out by how I'm going to die penniless tomorrow. Sigh. I met a man once from a tribal village in Africa who was here in the states going to school and I asked him what he considered the biggest difference between the African worldview and the worldview he'd encountered in the States. He said that in Africa, they knew life was dangerous and that they were prone to disease and tragedy and pain and discomfort. They just didn't talk about it as much, preferring instead to LIVE THEIR LIVES rather than worry them away. Just sayin'.

On that note, here's some funny because I'm an intellectual, specifically a language, snob. This can be ironic given my tendency to butcher grammar but let's not discuss that. (Thanks Nate and John for these).

Some people are worse at grammar. As Dave Barry put it in his tips for writers:

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business
signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a
word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR
ANY ITEM'S. Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when
creating hand- lettered small-business signs is that you should put
quotation marks around random words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT
DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.
-- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"

And any man who knows a thing knows he knows not a damn, damn thing at all

2009-04-27T12:57:00.003-04:00

Crazy business this weekend. I'm not going to devote too much space to the tragedy that occurred here in town Saturday except to say we were waiting for our show to start backstage when several of my dance mates had to stop getting dressed, applying makeup, etc. to answer frantic phone calls/text messages from family relating the story of an incident that happened an hour prior and less than a mile from where we were. You can read more about it here. I've thought a lot about it and it frankly baffles me. I have nothing more to say.

Instead, I'll talk about a moment at the other end of the spectrum, when an obstacle was faced head on and because of the inherent goodness of the environment and those involved, it became a moment of rare beauty that will stay with this kid for a long time. My dance friends Saturday took the stage for a lovely piece that I know was a special one for the choreographer who was also in the dance. Several seconds into the 2 minute long piece, their music stopped. For a half a second, there was tension in the audience and on stage. But let me tell you, those girls, phenomenal dancers all, just kept going, kept moving, and nailed that piece with a grace and fluidity of movement that I hadn't seen from them before. It was nothing short of inspiring. I cried. It's hard to explain but there really is just a magic moment when live theater of any kind is done well. The chills start and for a minute you forget about people so deep in despair they feel the need to gun folks down at a picnic on a beautiful spring day. People who haven't done it before don't realize that dancers can't really see each other on stage, just in brief glimpses in turns and twists. But they kept the time of that invisible song and finished that piece and the audience was serenaded with the sound of their breathing as they gave us a beautiful, muscular, riveting show. Sigh. I loved it. They did it again later in the show with the music and nailed that one, too. But my friend Jen turned to me after the second time and said, "You know, I think I liked it better without the music." Awesome.

So, in honor of this weekend, I'm giving you clips of the music from my three favorite pieces. The first is the music that stopped, the second is in honor of Joy and the third is a shout out to the ballroom boys and girls. I love you people. When I get the DVD maybe I can slice it up and post the actual performances here.

Currently listening to this and wishing that the UGA professor had listened to "People Like Me."

Slow Me Down -- Emmy Rossum

My friend Kate calls dance an escape. Certainly is.

2009-04-24T13:00:00.002-04:00

Okay, finishing up a few things and then going home to rest before dancing in front of what is reportedly 700 people. Well 703 now because my parents and brother are coming. Hope I don't go into a coughing jag on stage. Stupid cold. No, no I jest. It'll be fab. Got all the weirdness out last night at dress rehearsal so good vibes will abound.

I leave you with yet another little crush I've developed. They took Life on Mars off the air and replaced it with a show I was prepared to hate but ended up really liking. It helps that this gentleman is one of the leads. He's also in that movie The Hurt Locker that's been getting quite the buzz and may be a war movie I can actually watch without wanting to weep for the death of humanity.

Just sayin'. Have a great weekend. I'll be too sore to move by the end of it.

Fighting self-pity with admiration

2009-04-21T13:29:00.002-04:00

Sometime I can't watch the news or think about politics at all. It exhausts and depresses me. Oddly, at times, it does the exact opposite. Today is the latter. This little video is why I'll be voting for Newt in 2012 (should he run of course). He doesn't panic, isn't histrionic or mean-spirited and is very focused and yet sort of cool at the same time. No BS here. From his assertion that "this is a very shallow administration," to "the fight over whether or not politicians should dump debt on you," he just calls 'em like he sees 'em. Brave and coherent. I like that.

Budding photographers, big dummies and drama queens

2009-04-20T16:02:00.017-04:00

I'm potentially on some federal watch list according to the ridiculous Department of Homeland Security report that was pushed through just in time for the Tax Day protests that is painfully free of any quantitative supporting documentation. So, if of a sudden the flavor of this little online diary changes you'll know I've either been intimidated out of my own voice or brainwashed. Just a heads up.

Better things? My brother told me Saturday that he's been talking to his sons about goals and encouraging them to make some decisions about what they might want to be when they grow up. So when the 11-year-old asked if he could look at my camera at the soccer field of course I complied (with some boring rules I won't go into). He figured the thing out quickly -- how to manually focus and even how to finesse the long angle lens for the best shot. He even figured out that there must be something going on behind the lens because of the discrepancy of location between where you look to line up the shot and where the actual lens is, leading to a removal of the lens and an examination of the mirrors. Anyway, he decided it was something he might like to do as a profession and was pretty interested in what the photographers did for the newspaper I worked for. I felt like crying. Sigh. Anyway, with the exception of the first one -- which is actually one I took of him and his sister -- here're are few of his shots. Not too shabby my little redheaded genius. Aunt B is impressed...

Also, Gabriel chowing on cake at his 2-year birthday bash, his father the drama queen and Steve's homage to Terrell Owens. Love these people.

Beating a dead horse isn't really funny

2009-04-16T13:50:00.004-04:00

I was going to avoid talking about this but watching Rachel Maddow with the interminable smirk on her face interview someone yesterday from Air America (I think) who said that a sign a tea party attendee was holding that said "Obamarx" was "mildly racist" (okay, wtf? How is calling the man a socialist a racist statement? It may be inaccurate -- remains to be seen -- but it hardly speaks to race. The straw-grasping is getting waaaaay out of hand...) just forced my hand. Here's the deal -- MSNBC's little sexual innuendo is offensive, and not for obvious reasons. It's offensive because it's ham-fisted and, frankly, unfunny. And as someone who really appreciates a good dirty joke, that's just unacceptable. It's a groaner of a joke -- much like the one my brother told in mixed company a week or so ago that, were it not for the saucy content, would have been "a Dad joke," as Lord Somber calls them. They beat you over the head trying to be funny. And when they're bawdy, you look around to see if anyone heard that might be offended. That's one of the only reasons groaners are funny. Because they're daring.

But you MSNBC have removed the daring part by broadcasting this groaner over and over and over and (yawn) over again. To all of us. No sly under the breath delivery or polite attempts at shock. Just a little in your face with a weak bathroom pun.

Perhaps even more offensive -- and I go back to my brother and his groaner -- is that not only have you resorted to essentially playground tactics because you disagree with the tenor of the protests (leaving out that, were you good at your job, whether or not you agree would not affect your coverage of said NEWS event) by demeaning in a sort of last resort way something these people take seriously like their right to protest what they consider unfair policy, but there is implicit hypocrisy in your action because I'm 100 percent certain had you been in the company of my brother when he let his groaner fly you, Rachel Maddow, Anderson Cooper, and David Schuster, would have been the first to look down your elite little noses at his dirty attempt at humor. But here's the thing. His was delivered well -- subtle, strong pun, quick, off-the-cuff timing. Yours? I'll let you know the next time I hear it. In about five minutes.

Oh yeah, and don't even get me started on the irony of the crack CNN reporter who complained that the tea-parties weren't "family viewing." Ever tried explaining the MSNBC play on words to a child who may be up watching the news wondering why the talking heads giggle every time they say it? Family viewing indeed.

Just FYI, here's what the tea parties were actually about. If you can stop laughing long enough to read.

The Obama administration will be hard-pressed to avoid raising taxes on the middle class, according to economists crunching federal budget numbers in the lead-up to tax return day — today, April 15.

President Obama’s proposed changes to the tax code, combined with exploding entitlement costs, will lead to ever-growing debt, according to independent estimates. The big question for Obama and his economic team will be whether he can meet the rising costs with increased tax revenue only from small slices of the electorate. …

“You just simply can’t tax the rich enough to make this all up,” said Martin A. Sullivan, a former economic aide in the Reagan administration who said he backed Obama last fall.

“Especially just for getting the budget to a sustainable level, there needs to be a broad-based tax increase,” said Sullivan, now a contributing editor at Tax Analysts publications. “If you want to do healthcare on top of that, almost certainly, it just makes [a middle-class tax increase] all the more certain.”

I had a dream my life could be...

2009-04-13T22:03:00.005-04:00

I couldn't wait to post this because it made me cry with joy after a day of feeling kinda low and cynical. She sings one of my all-time favorite songs from -- well really from anything. When I was 17 I saw Les Miserables in London and my heart just ached for these characters who watch their lives and loves ebb and flow during the French Revolution. This is Fantine's song, a young woman who falls in love and is impregnated only to see her lover leave when he discovers her with child. She sings this while dying from, I think, TB. And Miss Susan Boyle sings it just as well as I remember hearing it by a professional singer on the London stage. Thanks Miss Boyle. You made my day. Sigh...

Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly...

2009-04-13T15:53:00.007-04:00

I think what happened in the Indian Ocean is phenomenal. The Captain of the Maersk ship is a certifiable hero and I'm inclined to give our White House all the credit in the world for stepping up and letting the high seas hooligans have a little taste of US Special Forces. And then Steph reminded me of the details of the tethering of the pirates' lifeboat and the ostensible negotiations that were going down. Hot Air ponders the same questions. As for me -- you terrorize a major shipping pathway for a year, take one our countrymen hostage and then point a gun at him while asking for $2 million ransom? -- pretty sure I'd lie to you with a great big trusting smile, tether your boat to make sure it was within sniper range, offer you some coffee before talks got under way (as Zimmer puts it) and then promptly eliminate your backup on the lifeboat and let you know the jig is up. I suppose flying the white flag as a ruse was ill-advised...Probably better just to go in and take em out without offering to negotiate at all. But that would sound too much like "We don't negotiate with terrorists" and that can't be right. Could it?

Hell, I don't know. But I know the extortionist thugs will think twice before mucking about with an American vessel again. And I'm cool with that.

It's a Good Friday

2009-04-10T12:03:00.004-04:00

"This is my commandment: love one another as I love you./No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:12-13

This is the scripture passage I always think of at Easter. It's what he did. Had he not, those no account friends of his (who threw him under the bus to use the modern vernacular) would very handily have been dealt with by the same authorities of the day. Not much debate about this. Would you do the same for your buddies? Now ask me why I'm a Christian...

Thinking about this, listening to this (and loving both the album art and the fact that the whole thing seems heavily influenced by 60s American girl groups and has a full monologue over Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata)and feeling elated about this. Oh Baby D, I'm so happy for you and Big D and I can't wait to meet the little cornshucker. I give you Chicken Little D and big love for this Easter season. Make it good.

Despite always being misunderstood

2009-04-08T15:08:00.003-04:00

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich came to UGA yesterday and spoke, first to a group of Law students and later to a group in the chapel. This kid was supposed to go but didn't. I don't want to talk about it...

Regardless, I like old Newt. He's a smart cookie and I hope he runs in 2012. I'm aware conservatism isn't hip. I'd rather be square and formulating my opinions logically than groovy and deluded. Here are a few news stories covering the event, one from the wire and one from my former place of employment. Be sure to read his remarks from the AP piece about gay marriage and how he implies that if the decision is the will of the people within a state then discussion should center on the fact that it is the will of the people within a state and should be respected as such. Here's the rub: many, many people will hear that he spoke of gay marriage, never bother to read his remarks and just chalk what he said up to those evil conservatives trampling everyone's rights again. Lame.

Pretty cool to see him standing behind the SPIA lectern, which was the school my master's program came from. Damn I wish I could've been there...

2009-04-06T14:04:00.003-04:00

So I'm hearing the North Korean rocket/missile launch was a dud. Glad to hear that many nations have condemned the launch regardless which, as I was reminded by Pops a day or two ago, was really more about posturing as a weapons dealer than threatening attack. Fail.

Anyway, Brewfest was fun. We have some winners: sis-in-law was a newbie to cider beer and fell in love with Woodchuck, while baby bro and I were smitten with the Jamaican Dragon Stout and the Scottish Innis and Gunn, respectively. No brainer that I would like the Scottish beer....delish.

Reading this and wondering what the future holds...

AAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrghhhhh........

2009-04-03T13:13:00.002-04:00

...yeah, that's all I've got today. Listening to this, reading about this and laughing about this. Bright side? Baby brother and wife, most excellent friends as well as family members, are coming for a visit Sunday to attend the BrewFest. So hey, something to believe in.

I wanna punch the economy in the face

2009-04-01T12:43:00.004-04:00

I'm going to need to step out in a minute here and grab some coffee because the rainy day has me yawning into my keyboard. But I wanted to say something that's been on my mind lately re: Obama and some of his spectacular faux pas recently as we gear up to see how he handles himself on the world stage at the G20 conference. First, I readily admit that I've likely been very quick to judge him negatively so early in the game; definitely not fair and I appreciate you calling me out on it Steph. That said, I have noticed something of late which speaks to my main reason for not voting for him, questionable policy goals and political alliances aside. He's inexperienced. He's so green that he doesn't know that his own party will make him look a fool to keep him in line, hence the ridiculous goodwill gifts to visiting heads of state, terrible talking points in boring speeches and the lack of oversight on scripted jokes while on late night TV shows (probably should have opted out of that guest appearance altogether but I'm sure you were advised it was a good "image enhancer"). As I've always said, Pelosi and the rest of the cabal will have you do their bidding and there will be image hell to pay if you do not Mr. President. And you're green enough to think image takes precedence over actually getting the work done in what is increasingly a scary world. Lose the arrogance, take a risk that at some point someone may take issue with something you do even though it will be the right thing to do, and stand up for yourself. I believe you capable of it. I have to. Probably would have been better to work your way up to the powerful office you now hold learning some of these things and how to negotiate them along the way. But the reality is you don't have that luxury. And neither do your country nor the people who believed in you enough to take a chance on you. So step up. Quick.

And now for some levity. Totally stole this from Baby D cause she's all about kids keeping it real.

Happy April Fool's. Beware the pranksters...

People without sisters just don't know

2009-03-30T13:42:00.003-04:00

Happy birthday (yesterday) Juje. Thanks for making me the White Album tape in High School, and letting me record myself singing over your Kate Bush tape when I was four, and documenting some of Grandpa Lee's last words, and for being the type of chick who digs NASCAR and Shakespeare and sees no contradiction there. And for always letting me cry and unload all my irrational fears while still remaining calm and reminding me to put on the whole armor in search of this or something better. Love ya kid.

The problem with the snuggie is that it's backless. If it were more like a poncho I might take it seriously.

2009-03-27T13:09:00.006-04:00

Today I'm getting over a negativity hangover so, like all respectable hangovers, it's left me feeling slightly unsteady and a little parched. Also not so much in the talking mood. So here's some light reading/listening about things I totally agree with, find hilarious and/or am awed by (thank you Somber). How many men can talk about the Aristotelian definition of tragedy in relation to sheep neutering and make it sound simultaneously hilarious, sexy and absolutely plausible? Not many. And that's why Mike Rowe is a bad ass.

I hope you meet yourself this weekend.

UPDATE: Holy Cow! I didn't even know this was being made! Aw yeah!!!!!!!

Having a laugh instead

2009-03-25T15:29:00.003-04:00

Wanna lick? Psych.

2009-03-23T13:34:00.004-04:00

I keep forgetting how competitive people are until I'm reminded of it by random pokes and prods that amount to very nearly the Eddie Murphy ice cream taunt:

"I got some ice cream ... and you don't got none ... cause you're on welfare and your daddy's an alcoholic."

Look people, we do it when it's right for us. I'm super psyched you've got things going on that make you feel good -- isn't the feeling good enough? Do you really need to compare your thing to someone else's for your thing to have value? Or, maybe the intrinsic value of what you brag about is fairly low so it's an effort to present it as more up-market. Either way, you demean and devalue your accomplishment by needing validation that it's better than -- I don't know, whatever thing it needs to be better than this week. I really wouldn't care except when you drag me into your drama I find myself going down that same compare/contrast road and it just depresses me and I need to focus man. I got stuff I'm trying to do over here. And I try really hard not to live my life like a real housewife of New York City. Vapid is not sexy.

Just clearing the air. Thanks for your patience. I'll be back with brilliant insight on something relevant at a later date.

Also, what do we think of the Kindle? My verdict is still out. But I'm intrigued...

Reminders of why

2009-03-20T11:50:00.007-04:00

I have less of a problem with the Special Olympics gaffe than I do with the fact that British PM Gordon Brown is going blind so giving him DVDs may have been inappropriate in more ways than the "you're like a school on Saturday -- no class" kind of way. Thanks for making me aware of that one Pops. My niece was in a fashion show last night at the Mall of Ga. and I swear that kid is a stunner. She told me there's a boy in her class that keeps calling her names which of course means he likes her, which I told her and she just smiled and said "I know." Then her Dad of course is all "You don't need to be thinking about boys," a line I heard more than once growing up and I hope she doesn't internalize and get all bookish and shy like I did. I think maybe there's a better balance there. (I love you Dan...)

Anyway, my 15-year-old nephew was recently allowed his own cell phone and I have been receiving texts from him since last night. We've talked about his ex-girlfriend and who he's going to ask to the next school dance. And I've had the opportunity to tell him I love him several times and I'm sorta bursting with that awesomeness.

Today -- well, today is a good day. Kids'll do that.

Have a peaceful weekend. Should be a pretty one. Here's some Spring music to go with the weather.

May the road rise with you

2009-03-17T13:34:00.004-04:00

Happy St. Pat's day all. I'll be at Cutter's Pub during Happy Hour with my book and an Irish coffee attempting to stave off an almost all-consuming compulsion to sell my house and use the money to quit my job and get gone. Come see me and tell me why that's the dumbest thing you've ever heard because things will change. Change is constant, right? Right? (cricket sound)

So, in honor of one side of my family, here are a few of my favorite Irish things: an awesome clip from one of the greatest Irish -- scratch that -- greatest movies of all time; a great Irish curse I like; and the song "Rise," which, while not overtly Irish, has always put me in the Emerald Isle mindset because of the refrain that references that old Irish blessing and the constant repetition of the expression "Anger is an energy," which I think the Irish would appreciate. There are of course other, much more current and relevant bands that I could reference. But then you'd miss out on a weird 80s gem that the skate rats in my neighborhood thought made them really edgy and cool. And that makes me smile. And I need that today, okay?

Compact Disc by Public Image Ltd.

Those who do not learn from history...

2009-03-16T12:12:00.006-04:00

So I saw this program on the History Channel the other day (I continue to give the History Channel a chance despite their need to be alarmist and sensational in very many of their programs) about the sack of Rome by Alaric and the Visigoths and how the result of the end of the Roman Empire was this vast European slide into the Dark Ages. And how strange it must have been for the peasants during this period -- who were literally scavenging building materials from the vast and once remarkable Roman ruins -- to realize that the generations preceding them lived in a manner wealthier, healthier, more prosperous and arguably more civilized. And then I saw this. And I'm trying not to draw parallels because what good would that do really...?

Also, a shout out to my team. We did good. This is the Internet equivalent of above the fold. See how I'm pushing the lexicon so one day, when a child wonders where that expression comes from, some wise old adult will say, "Well honey child, back when newspapers ruled..."

Take my eyes but not the shirt! (thanks Em)

2009-03-13T14:32:00.004-04:00

Hell of a week this week kids. I had drama and trauma hit me from almost every side, some of it expected, some of it a long time coming and some from out of the blue -- the last I'm still trying to get a handle on. I hate when I'm more affected by something than the carefully constructed myth I've created for myself dictates I should be. However, on a more positive flip side, I also closed the book on something with a final word that surprised even me. And it felt good son! I was confronted with the truth that some people are as bad as the megalomaniacs you think only exist on television. And I'm spent people. And kinda mad. I'm working on it...

When I get this raw I try to get back to the basics -- lots of crying because, well, I'm kind of a girl...But also, I seek the funny. And, while gathering some light provisions from Kroger at lunch today, I caught the new Vanity Fair staring at me from the rack. I used to read this magazine religiously but had to stop when I got a little wiser and discovered the almost glaring bias between its pages and got really annoyed that they couldn't just stay the f*@k out of it and give me pretty pictures of celebrities (It's bad when your sister -- an actress with a past tendency toward liberalism I might add -- won't watch the Oscars because she doesn't like the "moralizing." Just sayin'...)

But this time, despite my bank account screaming obscenities at me, I bought it. Because the portfolio of comedians had me giggling and then laughing aloud. Thank you boys. I'll pay you back by seeing I Love You Man in the theater.

Happy Friday the 13th.

Real punk rock means recognizing a poseur when you see one

2009-03-11T13:06:00.006-04:00

Okay look, there's a fine line between punk rock and stupid. I'm as rebellious as the next kid and have been known to push an envelope or two, but mucking about with proprietary images -- i.e. ones backed by copyright law -- without approval is borderline simple. Especially when the taste and potential for schadenfreude is so very, very high. So get off my back, yeah?

changed my mind. Listening to this and being transported back to the end of college. Not really in a pleasant way actually. But The Final Cut is a cool song man.

Solid ground again

2009-03-10T11:28:00.003-04:00

Coming down from a righteous indignation high so I have little to say. I liked this article though, especially in light of the tendency for folks to panic and for the axiom at the beginning, which is one I try to live by.

Also, stole this from Winders -- who's a savvy newsman and a good egg -- and had fun checking out the other cartoons from this guy's warped mind. I also like the soundtrack from the movie and suspect, and have heard, it's pretty damn good. I've read some of the novel -- used to date someone who was quite the fan -- but never the whole thing. Zimmer says it's bleak but brilliant. I'll have to wait a bit until I'm feeling a little stronger to give it a go...

I don't get jealous...

2009-03-06T14:44:00.005-05:00

Aaaargh with your Spring Break plans!

Mention of this has been floating around work. I like it! Also, I just came across this. It's about the only good thing I've come across lately regarding the economy, the ridiculous stimulus package and the bloating of the federal government. America, meet the man. He owns you. Also, keeping my eye on this whole byte-sized communication craze there's this. My good friend CM Kay, who just became my Facebook friend (I missed you rocker man!) says that MySpace is best for bands, Facebook is best for people and Twitter is best for business. Is there a unified front in our future? To an extent but the aesthetic will have to be flexible just because of the nature of "the kids" who like to keep things separate from the aforementioned man. We'll see.

Have a safe and happy weekend. As for me, I'll be applying for work (surprise!) and trying to figure out how it went from 7 inches of snow to 77 degrees in three days. Armageddon?

Take a look at the lawman beating up the wrong guy

2009-03-05T14:01:00.005-05:00

It's not that I'm not paying attention to the world right now. I'm aware. I just don't want to talk about it. I'm sitting back and watching the fallout. I'll speak up when I need to...

In the meantime, I'm learning about my new crush, one Jason O'Mara, lead actor on Life on Mars (which I only know about because it comes on after Lost, has awesome music and Harvey Keitel, and is actually pretty interesting). Anyway, Mr. O'Mara was born and raised in Dublin (drool), was a Rugby player until he was injured (double drool), and has a sparkle in his eye that is one of the reasons I continue to give humanity a chance.

Welcome to my dreams Jason. I swear to God I've never matured past the age of 14 in the most important ways.

UPDATE: Less than tragic moment of self awareness = of course I had to listen to Hunky Dory at work because of my new crush, which led me to listen to ChangesBowie, an album I got in High School because my sister Juje was an enormous fan and I have a memory of hearing Space Oddity around the age of 5 and bawling my eyes out. I got that one, too. I really think it's the reason I'm fascinated by Astronomy and space travel and all that other geeky stuff. I only tell you, Internet, because no one else cares...waaa.

Pops just vocally shrugged and said "March is unpredictable."

2009-03-03T13:48:00.019-05:00

So, maybe I was quick to think that our little snow prediction in Georgia was going to be the light dusting it always is and that people freaking out and all businesses shutting down were going to be overreactions. We did get about 7 inches -- but just in Athens apparently. Athens, it turns out, was under some swirling mass of freakish cloud cover that dumped nearly twice the amount that anyone else saw within a 20-30 mile radius. Very strange. People were losing power left and right. I was powerless for just over 24 hours, which actually leads me to forgive myself for my quick prejudgement because as it turns out, you can drive to get coffee in 7 inches of snow. You have to friends. No coffee just won't do. Of course I had no idea where every contraption my mother has given me for Christmas over the years was located -- the battery-operated lantern would have been awesome (my mother gave me the riot act for not having a battery-powered radio and Coleman stove. She did suggest I fire up my mini charcoal grill for hot water however. Remind me to tell you about the tool she put in our stockings one year that stays in my car glove box. It's a utilitarian thing that helps you escape from a car crash. My mother the survivalist.)

Anyway, I had a moment Sunday driving home from swimming at the gym -- I've included a pic of road conditions at that time courtesy of Steph because I didn't have my camera on me -- where I very nearly got stuck because of the genius 20-year-old girl in front of me. Look here, when driving in snow, instinctively I do a few things: go slowly, try to find the most downhill route on the most frequently traveled road, find the biggest 4-wheel drive truck and follow it. Young girl in front of me however decided to stop, going uphill in rapidly falling snow, turn around and give me the "go around" hand signal because apparently the five other cars that had gotten stuck at this very intersection were her friends. Now, I begrudge no one their good time -- and these kids looked like Abercrombie & Fitch in the snow (got a good laugh from Zimmer for this description so thought I'd use it again) -- but are you kidding me! Thoughts racing through my head in the 20 seconds I was stuck behind her trying to go around her dumb ass: shit. who the hell do I call if I can't get out? Will they get stuck, too? They'll hate me for life regardless. Why does everyone who wouldn't hate me for life live so far away? Do I have my hat and gloves in case I have to walk the four miles home? Yes, thank God. This girl has no consideration for anyone else -- not even her friends because ostensibly she's here to help but they're just playing around; this isn't serious to them. Dammit, does that make me old and bitter? No, when I was younger I would have rolled my window down and cussed her out. I'm softening with age...good. Oh thank God my wheels have gotten some traction and I'm moving. People are dumb."

To all the people who I called around 5 pm Sunday who didn't answer the phone (ahem), good move grasshoppers. You would have gotten the earful I wanted to give the genius girl in front of me. I'm not sure but I think I saw her stupid Jeep there the next morning when I drove to get coffee. Effing Einstein.

But ya know, for all the ridiculousness, there were people traveling around my neighborhood on a modified lawn mower with a chainsaw cutting up branches. And it was kinda fun being forced to read and forget all the "have to" stuff that comes with modern conveniences. And the snow was truly beautiful. I love the silence that accompanies it. Stupid girls can't take that away from me.

Anyway, pics. The lamps and the flame retardant boot at the bottom are from my fabulous trip to IKEA in Atlanta, which you learn more about over at Baby Ds place. Forgive all the bird shooting -- I have no class.

Unplug the jukebox and do us all a favor

2009-02-27T14:22:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I need a break from the scary world so I go through these periods where I don't watch or read the news and really don't want to talk about it. Having one of those lately. Also, I fell down the stairs today and didn't spill a drop of coffee, got this

from Steph and couldn't agree more and am listening to this in my car while thinking that yes, Mrs. Bielli, this should be the next cover band show. I have a big decision to make people...Should I drive in this nasty weather to Atlanta to partake of beer and fellowship at a pub or just wait till the morning when I'm less rushed and, ya know, can see? Tough one.

UPDATE: After years of searching, I have finally remembered the name of and found a book from my childhood that has haunted me for years. It wasn't my book; my friend Wendy across the street had it and I read it every time I went to her house to play. I have always remembered it for the illustrations -- they were fantastic and dark and freaky and weird. But I could never remember the name. Thank you Google. You make me mad sometimes but then you redeem yourself nicely...Did I mention I collect children's books? Anyway, here's a nice post on the book. It's like I've finally realized a dream...

Emails you like to receive in the morning

2009-02-24T10:29:00.002-05:00

Entry #1:

"King Cake is in the CSA break room. Enjoy!"

Right away boss.

When people ask me a question I give them the answer

2009-02-23T13:15:00.005-05:00

Let's talk briefly about Danny Boyle, the director of last night's Best Picture winner Slumdog Millionaire. I saw Slumdog this weekend so I could legitimately celebrate should it win Best Picture. I knew when it came out I wanted to see it because I've been a fan of Boyle's since I saw Trainspotting in the mid 90s and he co-wrote and directed another of my all-time favorite films A Life Less Ordinary. His collaboration with Ewan McGregor is really enough in my book but then of course there's 28 Days Later and I hear Shallow Grave is great although I've never seen it. Boyle has a knack for visually arresting an audience. There are a few movies I've seen once and refuse to ever see again -- Silence of the Lambs, Schindler's List, The Accused -- because they were so good that I'm incapable of separating myself from the film. I willingly suspend disbelief to a dangerous degree and when some of the subject matter is disturbing (at best) I have a hard time letting go of it. Trainspotting is among that list. Anyone who's seen it knows the "baby scene." Once was enough thank you. Because it was genius. Horrible, terrible genius.

Slumdog did not disappoint. It was a quieter, prettier genius, something I hope we'll see more of from Boyle (and for those of you shocked by this statement because of some of the harsh subject matter, see Trainspotting. Seriously.) And also because of the AWESOME Bollywood sequence at the end. It also brought the Indian culture into the consciousness of a great many people in the way that Boyle does things: with a straight forward, gritty realistic approach painted over with a sheen of wonder and hope and truth and beauty and the power of love in a jacked up hellhole of a world. I hope this recognition doesn't change Mr. Boyle and that he doesn't become "all Hollywood," although I doubt it will because he seems to get it in a way not very many people do: that the beauty of a thing like destiny is only really relevant and powerful when placed in sharp relief to all the cynicism and disbelief that most of the world insists is the only intelligent way to live. But Boyle believes in miracles. And so do I. Because it is written.

Sigh.

And Jamal was the perfect anti-hero and was very easy on the eyes so thanks for that, too.

(And Momma, sorry for the grump. I'm a little sick. But I love you and know you mean well. Just trying not to lose my grip. But you really are the best. I'm just bad at saying it...)

It's better than drinking alone

2009-02-20T12:38:00.007-05:00

When I was a kid, between the ages of 9 and 13 (I can't remember the exact year), I was traveling with my family in our van to Maryland, a trip we made every summer. This particular year I was in the last seat of the van, staring at the trees and the blacktop shooting past the window, when the song "Piano Man" by Billy Joel came on the radio. My siblings (all 6 of them) must have been sleeping because I remember the few blissful moments without distraction it took for the song to play through. I had recently become quite the fan of Mr. Joel so I knew every word of that song by heart (still do in fact) and, as I stared out the window, occasionally adjusting my eyes to look at my own reflection, I mouthed those words and, what's more, I understood them. I got the poignancy and sadness of those people and I recognized then that sometimes life leaves you empty and all you have going for you is the miracle that there are people willing to sing about it. Right about the last stanza I happened to look toward the front of the van and I saw my father's eyes in the rearview mirror, watching me feel this song. As he looked me in the eye he told me he was both pleased and impressed. But mostly proud. He was proud of his daughter for recognizing the bittersweet even if she hadn't yet had to really negotiate it. And I felt like a good person, a good soul, for getting it because he said it in that look, something he's not always able to do verbally (I inherited this trait from him). I've never forgotten that moment. I thought of it today driving to work. I always cry.

I associate a lot of music with my father -- anything by George Jones or Johnny Cash, The entire Brothers in Arms album by Dire Straits and, more recently, the soundtrack to O Brother Where Art Thou. But, for me, "Piano Man" is our song. Happy Birthday Pop. I love you so much. You told me recently that I was clearly smart because I didn't have to just be a work horse like you had been. Here's the thing Pop: if I manage to make something of myself in this life it has little to do with being smart. Trust me there. People could care less. But you being a workhorse, that gave me the opportunity to not have to be. So thank you. I doubt anyone will ever do as much for me again in life. I'm one of the lucky ones to have had you.

Greatest Hits Vols. 1 & 2 by Billy Joel

Odd sensations interest me

2009-02-19T14:47:00.003-05:00

This is just for fun. HaHa!!! Good times...And I just had the weirdest thing happen -- I sometimes like to create a pressure vacuum in my sinus cavities by holding my nose and mouth shut and, well I guess, pushing pressure into the little caverns in my head. Don't ask why I do this because I can't answer. I think it's for the same reason that I used to hold my breath under water for as long as I could or jump off the railing of our deck onto the trampoline -- just to test the body, see what it could do. This particular test has just stuck with me into adulthood. And yes, I know it's weird...

Anyway, one of my tear ducts -- just one -- opened up and starting releasing the air and then started crying. I made one of my eyes cry. I'm so mean. Even to myself.

I think the secret's the celery salt

2009-02-17T14:20:00.002-05:00

I'm in love. I saw this last night on the Travel Channel. Oh Chicago Red Hot, where have you been all my life? I need you, at a ball field, with a beer and a 75 degree day. (And Nate, yes, I still have Kitchen Confidential. You'll get it back. I promise...)

I really, really, really, really, really would like Anthony Bourdain's job.

The Red Hot magic starts around the 2:28 mark but you know, the whole thing's good.

With the lights out it's less dangerous

2009-02-13T13:50:00.005-05:00

I simply had to post this article, written by George Soros and posted on HuffPo. Not really in the interest of examining both sides; rather because (1) it scared me and (2) my sister is convinced that Soros nurtured young Sen. Obama from a promising young pup into the Executive Office (mainly by bankrolling some pretty solid political influence) because Mr. Soros, a VERY wealthy man who hails from Eastern Europe, has some ideas of his own on the way America should function. Soros has a plan it seems. He outlines it in this piece. Pay close attention to all the esoteric but not too esoteric language, and contradictions hidden as lies of omissions. For example, the Danish mortgage system operates without government guarantees and yet, a few paragraphs later, the mortgage originators are said to be strictly regulated. Who regulates them George if not the government? If someone knows, shoot me an email.

He also talks about how he proposed to Mexico -- yes, this is a man who can make a proposal to a country -- the following:

"a grand scheme in which all mortgages that are under water (i.e., whose principal amount exceeds the current market value of the house) would be replaced by a new mortgage, incorporating the Danish principle of balance but being insured by a government agency."

A those who insure can decide who ends up owning that new mortgage. The banking industry will, by the way, "in the future ... have to shrink and remain within the control of the authorities." The authorities get control over your dough. Think about that for a minute.

Just read it, although I'm certain many of you won't. But really, you should. You really, really should. And I mean READ it. Digest it, understand it as much as that's possible with all the subterfuge. You may, against your will, find yourself disgusted. And hopefully a little scared. Then we can talk.

Anyway, VH-1 said it was the best song of the 90s and I have to agree there (In Bloom was pretty righteous, too however). It's also how I've been feeling. So rock it out this weekend.

I'm only joking. Ahem.

2009-02-11T13:22:00.008-05:00

Busy, busy, busy, busy....

But not like these people. Stop looking at me like that.

And here's my friend Baby D with the coolest motherf*@ker on the planet. She says to ignore her hair. I say that's an impossibility.

And, here's this just because it interests me. I like to read this stuff and make predictions. Do you think someone will pay me the big bucks for that?

Saving the best (read = worst) for last: you know, I try really hard not to curse too much. My parents don't like it and I have to hear about it later. But this, this right here, is some seriously fucked up shit. Yes, I think that pretty much conveys the appropriate sentiment. Be sure to read Frank's brilliant statement about how the voter population because they vote these people into office (and I have to assume he includes himself in there) are partially to blame. How's that for some jacked up logic? "Uh, listen voters, I know I subverted truth and led you to believe you could trust me but, hey, ya know, you were the idiots that couldn't tell I was a total douche so, your bad!"

Can we survive four years of this kind of madness? I don't know man. I just don't know.

Of course, you can't aspire to be an a*%hole

2009-02-09T13:56:00.007-05:00

Lola's Future Reference Rules, #1:

If you "hire" a*%holes -- in your place of business or as a friend/lover/spouse/acquaintance -- they may one day be in a position to do the hiring for your business or in your home/any other place you work hard to make a safe haven. They will hire a*%holes. Because that is what a*%holes do. And you will find yourself surrounded -- and, seriously, I have years of knowing from whence I speak -- by a*%holes.

And if you find yourself "hiring" an a*%hole because you tell yourself the job requires it, you just haven't looked hard enough. For the most part, jobs that "require" an a*%hole just mean that there are some duties associated that are distasteful to the ethical. So make it financially worth their while and expect turnover. Or else you're an a*%hole.

That is all for today children.

Here's what I'm listening to at work while I determine what kind of budget my little communications plan is gonna need (cross your fingers we get what we ask for). I grew up listening to this music (as well as every other kind. Big family. Lots of different personalities. As one of the youngest I was exposed to it all. That's why my little brother and I are kinda crazy. And wicked cool) -- my Mom is a huge fan and had several box sets of cassettes of various 50s and 60s music. This particular amalgamation has Stagger Lee, House of the Rising Sun and Smoke Gets in Your Eyes on it. Brilliant.

Fiendish Dr. Wu, I shoulda known you'd be behind this Kung-fu treachery

2009-02-06T13:19:00.005-05:00

Someone please go see this with me! Pleeeeeeeeze. I mean, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka was good for its time, but this looks dead-pan awesome.

Also, because when I heard this on a Scrubs rerun last night I got up and started dancing, here's this. I will be 80 and I will hear this song and I will feel 16 again. And I will get up, grab my walker, and dance. Bet on it.

Dance around this weekend.

Random thought, feel free to move on

2009-02-04T13:46:00.008-05:00

Ever feel like you're moving through water? Yeah, me too. Here's the thing -- I've only been looking at the things I really want, forgoing even applying to places or positions that are unlikely to accept me idealogically, or that I'm unlikely to agreeably accept because I've been working a long time, even during the advanced degree, and I just don't know if I'd be a happy employee "starting out" in an entry-level position in a bureaucratic labyrinth of cubicles. I have that job now. That's why I went back to school. Sigh. I always make things so hard on myself. Sometimes I wish I would've just gone the traditional route -- less people would regard me as odd I think -- and settled down early, had the family, worked a job and just developed a life I liked. Alas, that wasn't in the cards for this kid. Far too unsure of who I was and what I wanted. It's one of the things they don't tell you: knowing what you want doesn't make things any easier. You still have to work to get it. I almost prefer the years of just taking the things that fell into my lap -- as flawed and miserable-making as they were -- because I didn't have to deal with this painful swim, lungs burning, strength fading, all layered with the melancholy potential of "what if I fail? what if I never get there and I drown 12 feet from shore? Then people will pity me and I absolutely cannot have that!"

Is it true that if you keep trying you never fail? Damn I hope so. I so fear becoming Rilke's Panther:

The Panther
Translated by D.C. Barranco, echt mench

From seeing only bars, his seeing is exhausted.
It holds nothing, nothing more.

To him, the world is bars,
100,000 bars, and behind the bars, nothing.

The lithe swinging of his rhythmic, easy stride
circles an inner hub a dance of energy,
round a central point.

Inside, a gigantic Will stands stunned and numb.

Only, at times, the curtains rise.

Silently, a vision enters,
slips though the focused silence of his shoulders,
reaches his heart,
and dies.

Here's something I came across today that I found interesting while researching whether or not there are privacy controls on groups in Facebook (not for fun, for work. Despite what you think, I do actually work during the day). Sly predatory behavior toward sly marketing end is alive and well in the social networking world. I predict this kind of thing starts to become a real issue -- i.e. makes it to the mainstream media -- within the year. Or has it already?

And thank you Brother D and Em for recommending this book. I bought it and thought, okay, this goes behind the other 4 I've promised to read first, until I read the first chapter and really, seriously, can't put it down. I spend half my evenings applying for jobs and the other half engrossed in this book. Good news? I'll be done with it in a week.

That'll be the day

2009-02-03T13:50:00.006-05:00

For you Buddy. The original nerdy/cool, and still somehow all Texan. "Words of Love" still resonates as one of the greatest love songs ever written. I'm just a smitten kitten.

Greatest Hits by Buddy Holly

Because we're aliens and that's how we roll

2009-02-02T13:41:00.003-05:00

This was my favorite ad for several reasons: It's hilarious in a discomforting way because I'm pretty sure they're not kidding and they may be unaware of that fact, confusing as that is. This is a great ad for those who understand that advertising is, by its nature, condescending. Ad execs think you're stupid man. And this is a great example. If you know that you're being talked down to, this commercial is hilarious in a different way. Also, I used to really love Alec Baldwin (just as fine as they come in Beetlejuice) and I still think he's a great actor and has, in recent years, revealed some pretty hefty comedic chops (awesome in Along Came Polly). Of course, politically he's whack (as the kids say) and his personal life is a mess, but I don't judge the latter because I'd hate to be judged for mine. Not too much a fan of hypocrisy. I have no patience for the way he spoke to his daughter, even if his ex-wife is kooky, and I really see mainly just a very vain man who's doing everything he can to just keep his confidence and he's succeeding. Because he is funny. The maniacal laughter in this is edgy and dark and weird and hilarious. I wish he wouldn't take himself so seriously.

I am really close on this one

2009-01-30T14:00:00.003-05:00

My brain is on a slight mini-vacation. I've been busy people and I feel like I could sleep for days. When my brain gets nuked like this my tendency is to freak out and cry -- as a reporter I used to break down over a beer at least once a week in preparation for the mound of things I had to do at work. I always got them done; I just had to lose my s*it a little in order to clear my head. Not a perfect system, but, as Landers reminded me earlier, everyone has their "process." And you don't mess with the process -- but as I've gotten older, I've begun to take a different approach. I try not to worry and acknowledge that the earth will still be revolving around the sun and turning on its axis even if I don't do that (whatever it is) RIGHT NOW and even if I still, for reasons yet unknown to me, am living in some weird Southern version of Groundhog Day. How did Bill Murray break the cycle? He started doing nice things for people. Can you do nice things for people in your sleep? In lieu of talking about the whole "Don't listen to Rush Limbaugh" sentiment floating around Capitol Hill at the moment -- c'mon, really? Last I checked we were FREE to listen, think, speak, etc. however we choose. I think statements like this indicate a serious insecurity -- I'm just going to tuck in and keep my mouth shut (I know, I know, for once) because fighting the good fight can be exhausting.

Catch some ZZZZZzzzzzzs this weekend. Oh yeah, and watch some football!

Watch the way I navigate, hahahahaha

2009-01-29T14:10:00.003-05:00

Just sayin'.

It's really making me think about the idea of a "triumph of hope over experience." Hopefully realistic might be the middle ground. Still trying to believe in you Mr. President. Maybe this group of economists are better advisors than Sour Puss Pelosi? I mean, it's worth considering, right? Hello?

Anyway, here's a breakdown of some of the numbers. I have no problem with the DoD testing out alterna-cars; it's just the price per that's insulting. Insulting because it's hard to believe that it would cost several grand for each car to have its own charging station. So what will that leftover money be used for?

And then there's this, admittedly "not at all helpful." Also kind of awesome.

Where are these people and will they let me hang out with them?

2009-01-27T14:26:00.003-05:00

Quickly, because I laughed aloud and love to share the funny, here's a segment from a wordsmith site I recently discovered. Four words: I love Jason Bateman. Brother Dan, again, his delivery is so very reminiscent of you...

Agency Spy

The Actor vs. The Pundit

2009-01-26T15:03:00.002-05:00

This is too awesome and I hope it happens. One of my all-time favorite movies is Good Will Hunting, soundtrack included. But I have a sneaking suspicion that playing a genius on film does not a genius make. It would be interesting to find out just what kind of chops Damon has, since I think he's kind of hot but a little dumb. I would love to be proved wrong because a little hot becomes irresistible and scorching hot when a brain is thrown into the mix. I almost hope he does it and wins. But, alas, I suspect Kristol will mop the floor with his inflated ego. But, you know, humility is hot too...

Listening for hope

2009-01-23T13:57:00.002-05:00

So, my little excursion Wednesday to check out some new music was fruitful. Kate Morrissey is not only stunningly beautiful, her music is lovely and inspiring. You can hear some of it here. I really like The Little Prince. I had a few glasses of wine while I watched the show and I told the friend I went with that I felt like I was drinking the sacrament because the music came from a place of good and peace and reminded me that there's still beauty here. Just look for it, and listen for it. And when you hear it, let it drown out the sounds of that other place. And LOST promised another good season. Does anyone else think Dan Faraday designed and built the wheel in the Orchid station at some point in time? Because I do...

I leave you with Krauthammer because I'm a little under the weather and am further bleary-eyed due to job hunt/current job shenanigans. Get some rest this weekend.

Remembering how I roll

2009-01-21T12:56:00.002-05:00

As I sit here enjoying my basil fried rice and spring roll (thank you Steph for picking up lunch so I can continue to dazzle the DC media establishment with my superior cover letter and resume skills. Stop laughing.) I'm aware again of the innate tendency I have to panic. You can't make me do it world. I accept none of your meaness and am resolute in my quest to find the place I fit and the people who accept me. I will settle for nothing less. This or something better, right Juje? So there.

That said, I'll be listening to some good music tonight here. Yes, it means missing the season premier of LOST. But I've already set the timer to record (haven't invested in TiVo yet...) so I'll be able to stay up into the wee hours of the morning and watch it a little tipsy which can only make for a better experience. With that in mind, lookin' good Matthew Fox.

Transition without bloodshed is the best part

2009-01-20T12:19:00.007-05:00

I feel pretty much like this about today's peaceful transition of power. It is pretty awesome that we do it peacefully. And cool as hell that a segment of our society feels vindicated and empowered today. As much as I'm staying away from the drama and hype -- I just can't get into all the feel-good stuff about it because I just don't think that way. It's a job people. Let's not forget that -- I'm pleasantly pondering this experiment in leadership by a federated system of government (yeah, I had to update this. Chose the wrong words. I'm a little out of steam here lately). And I like it. I really, really do.

Good luck to you Mr. Obama. Make us proud. Carry on.

UPDATE: Does anyone else think it's hilarious that Carter and Clinton seem not to care for one another. And if the reasons cited in this report are the correct reasons that's funnier still. This is one of the reasons that our new President has to go a long way to convince conservatives of his worth. Because tweedle dee and tweedle dum are seen as your ideological forefathers. And their egos won't allow them to play nice for the benefit of not only you President Obama, but the entire country. I'm just saying that if you ever find yourself, hand to forehead, wracking your brain about why those mean ol conservatives were so hard on you during the election and are making it hard for you to push your agenda, these two play a role.

UPDATE 2: Transcript of today's speech. Not bad. You know I have some points of contention -- I always do -- but overall, fairly uplifting, not too alarmist and just vague enough to ultimately go either way.

UPDATE 3: A note on the editorial process -- given that I had a mistake in this post of embarrassing proportions (it's been corrected but suffice to say it was the opposite of what I meant. ahem.), and given that I've had to disable commenting again (for really good reasons, I promise) I'd like to invite anyone that knows me and is privy to my email address (assuming anyone actually reads this blog and cares if I look like a tool. If you're happy when I look like a tool, by all means ignore this request...) to shoot me a slap upside the head email with the phrase my editor at the newspaper used to use a lot with me, "Did you really mean to say this?" Somber, I know you're already on it and thanks for that. To the rest of you, help a sister out. I'd be grateful and maybe buy you a beer or something.

Leaving on that Midnight Train to Georgia

2009-01-19T19:30:00.003-05:00

Right, nothing to say. So here's a very hot man doing a very hot thing. Guys, really, it's a very, very cool thing if you can dance. And oh Gladys, how I love this song...

Anatomically interesting art

2009-01-17T10:23:00.006-05:00

I'm going to start and end this post with some awesome but will talk -- briefly I hope -- about a little thing called tactic that I've been observing of late and am still kind of working out how I feel about it. First though a shout out to my nephew James who, as a second-grader, recently tested into a state-wide scholastic gifted program, something his teacher mother is unapologetically gushing about. Rightly so. We are lucky enough in my family, both blood-related and extended (we don't hang with no fools) to be complex enough to celebrate and appreciate talent in the physical, emotional and intellectual spheres. And, indeed, everything in between. In short, we strive for the Renaissance man/woman. So go get em little J. Da Vinci. You've made us proud.

Okay, tactic. I've been reading a lot about our soon-to-be new President's courting of the Republican base -- something that actually, again, has me optimistic that he can learn the ropes he didn't take the time to develop in the Senate. I'm willing to cautiously acknowledge that maybe he's some kind of wunderkind that didn't need experience to do the job. We'll see. In fact, as Krauthammer, my hero of intellectual acuity as I may have mentioned before, notes, Obama is retaining many of the outgoing President's policies, suggesting, again as I may have mentioned before, that his meeting with Bush was a lot more edifying for him than he thought it was going to be. And it suggests something else as well, something I've been wanting to say for a long time but just didn't want to catch the grief or be told how I'm some kind of evil person for my opinions. It suggests that Obama likes Bush, respects him and actually considers his work a good starting point. It's okay. Sit down, head between knees. You're gonna be okay. Here's the thing -- I like Bush as well. Always have. I have never considered him stupid -- quite the opposite in fact. I enjoyed that he knew how to, as we say in the vernacular, throw down, in college. I like his courage of spiritual conviction, his belief in the inherent freedom of the human spirit and his ability to move like a cheetah while ducking shoes.I appreciate that he inherited crap economic policies from 8 years of Clinton and took the blame for the current economic situation like he's taken every other histrionic criticism thrown at him over the years -- like a man, never stooping to petty sniping and instead just going to the office and doing his job. He has, as my Pops would say, continued to get up every day and pull the wagon, generally in the face of unbelievable negativity and pessimism. As a conservative who doesn't even self-identify as Republican, I've been called abhorrent things that hurt and embarrassed and angered me. I cry. Bush just kept at it. And I don't even think I have to mention -- primarily because everyone else is -- his victory over what were undoubtedly other plots to attack the States. And Condi's contribution, as well as Cheney's, will only be celebrated in years to come. But the new administration, in retaining some of the policies left for them, will take the credit. Any student of our American political system knows that every administration inherits the evils -- or the good deeds -- of the one before it. Bush and Company knew what they were getting handed following Clinton. Obama, I have a feeling may find good things on the horizon because that's what's been left for him. Snort at me if you want you naysayers. Just remember I said it when it turns out to be true. And really, to all those who hate Bush -- I mean really, come on. Get the f*@k over it already. It's counterproductive and uninteresting to say the least.
As for tactic, my question is this: while I appreciate Obama's willingness now to recognize the wisdom in some of the outgoing President's policies, should we trust a man who plays the game to the extent that he denies what he knows to be true to get elected? I don't know. It's true that had he come out in support of these things during the campaign he likely would not have been elected. Does the end justify the means? Still trying to work that one out...

And here's the second piece of awesome, my other parents (in my neighborhood I had about four sets of parents) who I am now actually related to by marriage (which I'm sure keeps them up at night occasionally) took my other nephews -- 14 and 11-year-old boys, to an art exhibit recently at the High Museum in Atlanta. Here was the email update from Papa Dan about. I laughed so hard. Thought you might like it, too. Jake, by the way, is the 14-year-old.:

" Last weekend we took Jacob & David to a show at the High Museum.

We set some rules ...

You couldn't move from one room of the exhibit to another alone. Everyone had to move together.

Behave .. treat the place more like a Church than a School.

You had earphones on. If you wanted to talk, pull the phones off so you weren't loud.

There may be some 'anatomically interesting' art. Please don't yell at your brother to come & look at some 'interesting anatomy'. Suggest he come look at the 'smile' or something.

***************

We finished the exhibit. Jake wanted to go over to the general museum to look at some art. We headed to look at American 19th Century stuff.

We headed up the walkway, up the ramp a floor. An attractive young lady ... not dressed for the weather ... low cut jeans, low cut top, midriff revealed, walked down and passed us.

Jake turned to me and said: 'Nice Smile.'

Boy has promise!"

You get to sit next to Uncle Stinky

2009-01-15T09:44:00.004-05:00

Right so I've been busy doing things for other people and, tragically, using that as an excuse to not do things for myself. Important things dang it. So, as soon as I update this blog, go to this meeting, update my calendar, firm up some deadlines, conduct a phone interview, draft a response, knock out some remedy tickets, double check some payment history and start on my freelance piece I'll be applying for jobs. I've found some good ones. They're bookmarked. But not applied to which made a friend snort at me and say "Those companies don't care if you've bookmarked their job announcements." Dammit. Good point. No effing rest for the weary.

In the meantime, since I'm still battling my delayed reaction and hoping I'm mature enough to get over it in a reasonable amount of time without sinking into some kind of self-pitying funk -- internalizing things sucks sometimes man -- I don't have much to say. In place of my biting wit, I give you awesome things from my friends, like a foot self-portrait with Samuel L. Jackson and BaconSalt (gross yet intriguing). And, most importantly, a clip from the Tiny Toons gem "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" that I watched 8,000 times in college with my friend Farmer who I recently reconnected with and had the pleasure of remembering how much we laughed. Laughing with him, seriously, is all I remember doing. I have no memories of him that don't involve cracking up. I miss that. For you Farmer. Kiss yourself, kiss yourself, kiss yourself!

Tiny Toons - How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Part 3 - Every10Mins.com

You can find the rest here.

Next stop: maintenance droids

2009-01-10T19:30:00.003-05:00

This is cool. And encouraging that we haven't lost our ability to innovate. Keep up the good work nerds.

Back on the horse

2009-01-09T13:51:00.008-05:00

A'right, I'm back on it. Admittedly, I'm non-committal. But in an odd way. I don't have a hard time committing to getting something I want; rather, I have a hard time committing to the idea that whatever it is I want is something I should be committing to. They sound the same, you say? Trust me, they're different. The latter, which is where I invariably live, is a much lamer way to be. Shows that I lack a basic faith in my own judgment. Truth is, when I decide it's worth it, I'm fairly tenacious and have a decent record of success. It's just making that value judgment...there are some things you just can't know...you have to make decisions based on incomplete evidence...so hard for me to do...

And I digress. All this is just stream of consciousness as I gear up the job hunt again so I don't become too focused on the rising unemployment rate, the dire doom-n-gloom economic predictions, trillion dollar deficits, etc. I'm liking the tax cuts but I dislike the whole reform mentality the pres-elect is pushing. Here's why. Be sure to read Keynes' excerpted letter to FDR. I will, meanwhile, be making my list of think tank phone numbers and sharing the following with you:

The link an old friend D. Matt turned me on to that could help in dealing with my cop magnetism:

Speeding Ticket Killer

The magnet Baby D sent me from her trip to Music City. It's so nice when someone knows what you'll like...

And a really good album recommended by Mr. PhD:

The Midnight Organ Fight by Frightened Rabbit

Get some looks this weekend.

Menace to Society

2009-01-06T12:01:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm over my little temper tantrum which culminated in my getting pulled over -- again -- yesterday after work for speeding. 47 in a 35 which always surprises people that the cops even bother. But with me, they do. I don't believe I've been cited for driving more than 12 miles over the speed limit ever. Recently I was pulled over in Atlanta and just kind of yelled at by the cop for five minutes with a warning. I'm convinced he couldn't cite me because I was nowhere near speeding but he pulled me over nonetheless. I never said a word. And yesterday the guy spoke to me like I was his nagging girlfriend and told me, when I said yes, I've been through this before, I know where to sign, "Well if I don't tell you you'll just be complaining about that, too." Geesh. The punchline is that this same cop pulled me over less than a year ago and gave me a long protracted speech about the accuracy of his laser pointer. How's that for a metaphor?

Here's the thing: I love cops. I do. I appreciate the job they do and feel safer knowing they're out there. But I'm not your girlfriend, your wife nor your mom, and am therefore not the one you should be yelling at. I'm also not as young nor as cute as I appear to be from afar. It's the long hair I think and I would assume they just end up disappointed that their eyesight's not any better. And, at the moment, I'm not even financially solvent enough to continue to pay into your quota fund. Of course, my sister Juje, who got to listen to my post-ticket meltdown, reminded me that all this stops if I just stop speeding. 12 miles over is still speeding, she said. Dammit but that's a good point. Anyway, I'll be taking a new route home from here on and am likely to be the most obnoxious driver on the road because I'll be going much slower than the flow of traffic. Sorry but I just can't afford to be the rebellious girl in the four-door sedan going moderately faster than the posted speed.

So, I'm playing with this little blog template and am determined to manipulate the HTML rather than using Blogger design tools. Just trying to expand my horizons a bit more. And I like the idea of changing my picture to reflect where I live. That could come in handy.

Have a Happy Epiphany, Twelfth Night, etc. I'm getting my God on later by going for a swim and then hitting church. And, oh yeah, my new found optimism for the President-elect is really just born of what appears to be his ability to learn, something I wasn't sure he had in him. He knows he's in a different league now it seems and, despite how he may have gotten there, he seems to have picked up on the wisdom of a low profile. I maintain that his recent meeting with the current President was probably eye-opening for him and it would be hard not to view the solipsistic Reids and Pelosis of the world in a different way once the harsh light of the realities of world politics is flicked on. You're gonna have to be tough Obama because popularity, despite what you may have been led to believe, is not actually the most important "skill" you need to have. Just sayin'.

Bear with me people...

2009-01-05T19:58:00.001-05:00

...I'm working on it. Don't expect fancy. I'm just avoiding other things. Thanks for hanging in there with me. If indeed you're out there at all...

Breaking things and I know it was you Fredo

2009-01-05T12:47:00.002-05:00

Yes, my sidebar has shifted to the bottom of the page. I put a picture of where I actually live in the header and I think it threw the width of the columns off so I'll be working on fixing that when I get home tonight. Should make for some exciting HTML fun! Blogger likes the CSS and that can be problematic...wish me luck.

Rather than bore you all with my "why can't starting over be easy?" frustrations and my opinions of Richardson and Obama's judgement -- although, surprisingly, I'm more optimistic about him now but more on that when I'm not feeling so grumpy -- I give you a snippet of The Soup's best clips of 2008. Oh Joel McHale, why are you a thousand miles away and married? I want to have your babies and write your jokes. The whole clip is good but the genius comes at the end around the 4:49 mark. I just love the almost sympathetic look on Mr. McHale's face. Making fun of the willfully ignorant feels dirty in the way playing truth or dare in the dark corner of the skating rink felt dirty. Deliciously, deliciously dirty.

The safety in delayed reactions

2009-01-02T11:35:00.011-05:00

The bulk of this post has been deleted because resolution is a beautiful thing. So, here're two takes on the Gaza situation.

http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=12853965

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/01/AR2009010101780.html?nav=rss_opinion/columns

I tend to agree with Krauthammer but wanted to do what, as a journalist, I was trained to do and offer alternative views on the topic. Make up your own minds.

And here are my final holiday shots of the fam, and the first of the new year. Despite the economic morass and my seeming inability to attract an employer, my family is awesome and not everyone can say that, so party.

UPDATE: In light of the conversation I had earlier with a coworker who said he was hightailing it to New Zealand when America collapsed -- I tried to remind him that staying positive is really and truly a catalyst for productivity and the opposite produces, well, the opposite -- I'm posting this article I came across today because work is very slow and I'm procrastinating doing the things I should be doing for reasons I don't entirely understand yet. More on that later I guess.

According to the Mayans we have 4 years left. Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T13:05:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the header -- the history channel's negativity astounds me. Anyway, Just a little shoutout. I'll be hanging with family because, as my brother Drew put it, "I'm not driving around on amateur night." Brilliant. Here's a follow up to my Narnia Christmas post from Lord Somber. This is why I dig the Somber one -- he gently checks me, unapologetically, and I generally learn something from it. People who expect you to grow are a good thing. This is a good article, all about how the "mainstream" (I don't even know what this means anymore...) media, for all their promotion of diversity of opinion -- and their willingness to lynch those they see as not sophisticated enough to do the same -- is remarkably closed-minded when it comes to deviations from their version of diversity. I know, it's a contradiction. Try explaining that though and you risk concerted efforts to besmirch your good name. Never argue with small-minded people of any stripe. Just tell them they are entitled to their opinion -- I think I'm going to read "Crimes Against Logic" -- smile and walk away.

"And for anybody who has spent more than about three months in these United States to find our level of faith "surprising" is for that person not just to be so unobservant as to be wholly unsuited for reporting, but to be almost willfully blind and deaf to the religious dimension of the lives most Americans lead."

For the record, I recognized the similarities between the Narnia stories and the Scriptural stories but didn't even know what an apologist was until I was in High School. That's what I mean about not understanding the allegory -- allegories are literary constructs and I just hadn't learned what those were when I was 8 or 9. Keep me in line Somber.

Happy New Year people. Be safe.

UPDATE: Just to round out my CS Lewis postings, here's the first paragraph from the third book -- the one Disney just dropped financially -- and one of the very many reasons I love this writer:

"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. His parents called him Eustace Clarence and masters called him Scrubb. I can't tell you how his friends spoke to him, for he had none. He didn't call his Father and Mother "Father" and "Mother," but Harold and Alberta. They were very up-to-date and advanced people. They were vegetarians, non-smokers and teetotalers and wore a special kind of underclothes. In their house there was very little furniture and very few clothes on beds and the windows were always open."

Genius.

Peace out til Friday

2008-12-29T11:25:00.003-05:00

Dear Lord God of everything that is pure and delicious in this world, thank you for the small blessing of a week off from work. I will fill it by looking for work. Ironic, no? Also, thanks for powdered sugar covered date-nut treats (thanks T) and for people willing to pray for my success in both procuring new employment and quitting the devil tobacco. I promise in the coming year to live more within the individual moments of life and will try not to ruin things by worrying about them. Also, keep the loved ones near and afar from danger and financial instability. And help me figure out how to make it all flow with laughter and self-awareness and to open my mind a little more so I can see that frustrating situations are generally the ones with the most potential for growth.

I'm out and amen. Stella and I are going for a walk around the block.

Here's something I'm totally not opposed to and for you music lovers, I made a little compilation of fun music I like. Thought I'd pass it along. It makes for a nice "mixed tape."

What the World Needs Now -- Cracker
Swing, Swing -- All American Rejects
Jenny Was a Friend of Mine -- The Killers
The Wagon -- Dinosaur Jr.
Don't Look Back in Anger -- Oasis
Float On -- Modest Mouse
Far Behind -- Candlebox
Sugarfoot -- The Wallflowers

UPDATE: Oh yeah, oh yeah -- This movie's awesome. See it.

Magical Madness

2008-12-26T13:35:00.015-05:00

Just because they're awesome. Savor the love. Funny story: When I got home last night in the wee hours of the morning, my hands and arms -- particularly the left set -- were killing me. Like arthritis achy. I started freaking myself out thinking I was maybe having a heart attack -- yes, I know but my brain is a very powerful manipulator -- until I remembered that I had been holding, carrying and generally wrestling with babies/kids all day and my forearm muscles and hands are just unaccustomed to that. I have a new respect for moms.

Can you see him now?

2008-12-24T12:04:00.014-05:00

When I was a kid I read all of CS Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. A couple of times in fact. I loved them and was blissfully unaware they were Christian allegory until much, much later. When I discovered the metaphor I put them away for awhile because I put all of the rules of my upbringing away for a while until I could make a few mistakes and get a feel for what it meant to sail alone. And feel it I did. It is both a blessing and curse to be a sensualist; that is to say, to need to feel and experience everything before I believe it. This aspect of my being has led to a great number of the little wrinkles I see in my face today. But it has also led to a person who shocked an old high school friend last night by not being the most cynical person at the table. Oddly, for me anyway, tribulation led to hope and a general positive outlook that life can be handled. And there's always help there for the asking.

I say all that to say this: I saw the newest CofN movie last night. It was my favorite of the books because there wasn't one heroic character from any book I read or film I saw that I did not fall hopelessly in love with. It never mattered what they looked like -- it was the heroism I loved. And Prince Caspian, purrr... And the movie was so, so good. I love the symbol of Christ as the Lion. It's my favorite of all the manifestations of God on Earth. Lewis tapped that in me young, even if I wasn't aware of it yet. I wept -- hard -- when the closing song started at the end of the movie. I offer it to you now. The words hit me on so many different levels at this time in my life. I just swim in this song. Bob, this is Regina Spektor.

Merry Christmas all. I love you.

Regrettably, I inadvertently hit the manual focus button on my camera lens so all my photos of rocking it out with the hometown girls in East Atlanta last night (we are the kind of crazy people who go drinking on a Tuesday. So you know.) are severely out of focus. I post them anyway because at least one of them is still kind of cool looking. The problem has been corrected (thank you Landers) so clear photos should be on the horizon. I apologize for the blurry. But then, that kind of was my perspective last night (martinis. ahem.) so they may actually be more appropriate than some polished version of the evening. Cause there really was nothing polished about kickin' it old school at the former Ayn Rand bar. Good times.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

2008-12-22T13:12:00.005-05:00

I got a new phone so pardon the cruddy quality of the picture while I figure out how to make pretty pictures with it. I want to introduce you to Elvis Candy Present. Back in the mid 90s, one of my best high school friends (some of you may know her as Annette) and I decided that we would no longer exchange Christmas gifts because it was a hassle trying to figure out what to get and Annette always felt bad for regifting me. So, in order to assuage her guilt and give me a smidge more time wherein I could refrain from making any kind of decision, we purchased Elvis Candy Present. Elvis Candy is a tin of Russell Stover Chocolates -- still in the original shrink-wrap -- that Annette and I exchange at Christmas time. When she has it, she wraps it and gives it to me. When I have it, I do the same. It doesn't happen every year, just when we remember. I've had it for about three years now so I think it's time to let it live with her for a little while again. This kind of gifting makes for awesome Christmas card notes. "So you won't have a blue Christmas" or "A Happy Holidays (said in Elvis voice)." We made a pact that if we both make it to old age we're opening that tin together. By that point the chocolates will be dust I'm sure -- I think the sell-by date is around 1996 -- but we'll laugh about how that tin of dust kept us friends all these years.

Annette, Elvis is in the mail.

And I totally and completely agree with this post. I've never seen the two minutes following Clark shooting down the snow hill with a trail of fire coming from his saucer sled because I laugh so hard I can't see through my tears or hear over my howling. I think he ends up in a Wal-Mart.

Straight No Chaser is right

2008-12-19T15:01:00.004-05:00

Here's some more synchronicity for ya: My brother recently referred to our family as "Chex mix" because my great-grandparents on my mother's side were straight from the motherland Czechoslovakia (my mother corrected my brother immediately and said, in no uncertain terms, that we are "Slavic, not Czech" [Slovaks specifically] because apparently that means something to the cultural groups in that part of the world. Although a joke, my mother was going to make sure we understood the inconsistency in the argument. Because that's how she rolls.)

Anyway, yesterday, when I got to work, someone left a huge mason jar of Chex Mix on my desk, all gussied up in a Christmas ribbon.

I'm having trouble decoding the meaning of this coincidence. Any ideas?

And here's a pretty damn amazing a capella version of my favorite Christmas song because 'tis the season.

Have some eggnog this weekend.

The still, small voice

2008-12-17T13:59:00.003-05:00

I love when things like this happen. Some people don't care about coincidence -- or they take note but focus on the randomness factor. I however, view coincidence as nothing less than synchronicity -- which I think differs in connotation if nothing else -- and I tend to pay close attention and am always comforted by what I perceive as proof that I'm on the right track.

So thank you Jonah Goldberg, for reminding me of a few basic truths while I fight the urge to panic.

"But here’s a point nearly everyone understands from personal experience: It is not a good idea to make big, life-altering decisions when you’re freaking out."

Goldberg worked for the American Enterprise Institute and I've had their position openings page pulled up on my desktop for about two weeks now, having recently made the decision to really give a good run at think tanks. Obviously, none of these things constitute any kind of done deal. Just maybe the beginnings of a direction, a path. And, as if to put an exclamation point on the end of the phrase "Don't Panic," a good friend randomly (...) called yesterday and is helping me refinance my mortgage which could lower my monthly payment and potentially sever my ties with CitiMortgage, something that is tantamount to turning one's back on the devil.

I am reminded of one of the greatest movies of all time:

Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?
Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Red: Forget?
Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.
Red: What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne: Hope.

Maybe the best of things.

Pokey Torres and Brandy Shelton don't have time for you.

2008-12-15T14:24:00.006-05:00

Last night, I was reminded of this:

Watch more Strangers with Candy videos on AOL Video

and then today I had to let a certain young man -- who thinks I'm too old to understand his humor -- know that I remember Steve Carell from his days on the Daily Show and that The Office is new school and, therefore, less hilarious. Because that is the rule of cool.

10 F#@king Years
by TraceyUK

And here's this, because I threatened and must therefore deliver so people won't think I've gone soft. You people are insane and I love you.

Some people get their kicks stompin' on a dream -- The Chairman of the Board

2008-12-12T12:40:00.006-05:00

My office is schizophrenic. It is never comfortable. Always too hot or too cold. Freezing today. But whatever. Such is my life lately -- buying a house as an investment and the market crashes, graduating from a master's program and seeking new employment and the recession hits. I cannot get a break. Waah right? I know. But it's my space and I'll write whatever whatever I want, okay? And, ultimately, I'm a believer so I know there are things going on that are unseen by me that are preparing me for whatever path I'm supposed to travel. Lately, yes, it's true, I've been panicking a little. Not attractive. But I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for -- God, I don't know, for something. And I feel inadequate sometimes, okay? But one interesting thing is that I may have finally gotten to a place where, when I'm feeling vulnerable like this and the predators come -- you know the ones. They smell the blood in the water and just -- well they don't attack exactly. They just, usually subtly, hit you at your weak spot. They enhance your feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy for their own agendas, whatever those may be. Sometimes just for fun. -- Anyway, I've gotten to the place where I can just tell those people to leap. I've always been challenged that way. But I'm better at it now.

So leap you people with bad intentions. I have no use for you and will entertain you no longer. Also, and I'll write more on this later, it's not that I don't like you. I don't know you well enough to dislike you. But I did observe some actions that indicated a proclivity toward bias and I'm not a fan of that quality, especially when people abuse their relative power by showing favoritism. It's just an opinion of mine -- obviously not everyone has such a problem with this particular character trait. But I do. It doesn't equal "dislike" however. It's just something I know about you and have catalogued. C'mon -- haven't you done the same thing with me? It seems to me you have. Maybe before I did. And therein lies the problem.

Amen for small miracles and bless you Junior for the funny you sent me. Stuff like this -- and I'm very serious -- is sometimes the only way I make it through the day. And I love ya for it.

Favorite part: the arbitrary assignment of monetary value. Genius.

Have a little Chairman for the weekend.

I hear the Chief of Staff is the one who turned him in...

2008-12-10T13:36:00.003-05:00

Ever wondered what a scapegoat looks like? That's the Chicago way, ya'll. You voted it in. No complaining.

Here's a little more light reading on the subject.

UPDATE: because I'm frustrated and not feeling very diplomatic I just feel like defending myself today. No joy here, I assure you.

To Lou on her brithday

2008-12-09T11:14:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday Lou. I'm so proud of you for taking care of business and not letting people push you around -- I've never been as good at that as you. It's one of the things I always admired. Also the time you chased that football player down the hall in high school and beat the crap put of him for taking your Santa hat. And the time you wrecked your car at the softball field and calmly rolled your eyes at me while I crawled out the window screaming at you. Also that you had the courage to take on responsibilities most people your age would have shirked with a shrug and never thought about again. Also that you've picked up the academic mantle again and are attacking it with the same curly-haired passion with which you refused to share your Nilla wafers when you were 4. The same passion that makes you an incredible cook, a loyal sister, a protective mother and a rabid survivor. I've known my whole life that no matter what's going on between us -- and we have had our moments, haven't we? -- that if I called you crying at 4 in the morning and needed your help you'd crawl out of bed, grab your keys, get to me and ask whose ass needed kicking. And I'd talk you out of it -- I always do -- but only because I know that the one time I might actually say yes, go take care of that, you would. And that's enough.

You know me better than anyone else on this earth -- 17 years sharing a room does that -- and that's unsettling and calming at the same time. It's also the perfect laboratory for growing unconditional love. And I love you that way sis. Always have, always will.

Crazy families aren't unique

2008-12-05T14:15:00.002-05:00

Busy, busy, busy. To the point of exasperation actually. But I did meet this guy yesterday, which was thrilling because I fell in love with his writing 5 or 6 years ago while working as a reporter when a fellow reporter told me about this book (you know who you are Kiwi Shana).

He said yesterday he was through writing tearjerkers and would only concentrate on writing stories that make him laugh aloud. I heard that with my bad ear. And he talks like he writes. He told a story of how the only thing he really feels like he's never been able to do is live up to the other men in his Alabama family. For illustration, he mentioned a fight he had as a child on the school playground, where neither he nor the other boy could throw a punch because it meant getting suspended. His foe called him a name so he swung his arm from low down, around the hip, and slapped the boy as hard as he could in the face. And the boy looked at him and called him the same name that had started the fray again. So he kept slapping and the boy kept repeating the slur until he said his arm "gave out." Thus endeth the fight.

"But I know what my grandaddy would have done then," he said with a deep, mischievous, Alabama grin. "He woulda switched hands."

Don't be afraid to switch hands this weekend.

It would help if you could help

2008-12-03T11:57:00.003-05:00

Okay look, I can appreciate that you feel sorry for him. I'm sure seeing me all the time makes him feel like a schmuck -- but you know, you tend to feel the way you act and karma is a bitch. I could drop the details of the schmukyness but that doesn't really benefit anyone and it's all in the past. Things worked out as they should.

But let's get something straight: it's not pleasant for me either. The reminder of getting treated like that -- and being too big a wuss to actually stand up and crack some metaphorical skulls -- is something that I could definitely live without. But I've worked really hard to better my situation so I can, at last, be really free. And I'm working on not being a big wuss anymore, too. I've spent a couple years plugging away with that goal in mind. And I'm frustrated by the waiting for the harvest, even though I can almost see it -- it's been off in the distance for a while, peeking over the horizon and I want it to get here more than you. Trust that if nothing else.

So please, please, can you stop using the situation as your own personal amusing diversion and just let me get some decent work done? Since you don't seem to care how that will benefit me, think of how it will benefit him. No more reminder, no more guilt. And you can feel good knowing that you helped make a difficult situation easier, not harder. That pillow at night is a lot softer when you feel good about your day. I'm hopeful you'll end up being reasonable. But, in the event you just can't do the right thing, know this: you, like the rest of this nonsense, will be survived. It's just how I roll.

Zimmer hooked me up with some new music. Russian punk rock lets me bitch slap my demons (see above). Here's a video of one of their songs that went somewhat mainstream on, I think, a Target commercial.

Theme songs

2008-12-01T14:14:00.003-05:00

My step-nephew-in-law (I'm pretty sure that's what you are...) played this on the baby Grand at my parent's house on Thanksgiving Day.

I won't see the movie -- It would break me. It would. -- but the music is haunting enough. It's one of those pieces that could serve as the backdrop for anything poignant, haunting, confusing, frightening, etc. Like what's going on in India for example. Speaking of, here's Hitch's take. Hitch and I don't agree on a very long list of things -- he's atheist and tends toward socialism to name a couple -- but he's a great writer, perceptive reporter and has spent a lot of time in that region of the world so I listen when he speaks of it.

An impressive thing about India is the way in which it has almost as many Muslim citizens, who live with greater prospects of peace and prosperity, as does Pakistan. This comity and integration is one of the many targets of the suicide killers, and it is another reason why firm, warm solidarity with India is the most pressing need of the present hour.

As for Requiem for a Dream -- I'd love to do a weird modern/lyrical dance to it. Hint. Hint.

The Day After

2008-11-28T11:10:00.006-05:00

Bout to make myself a lunch of leftover turkey breast, mashed potatoes, asparagus and coconut cake (I made this. Just trying to justify the name my parents gave me.) After that, I'll be walking a crazy old black dog in weather that, should you choose to ignore it, may have you trying to explain to whomever controls such things that you never meant to be so selfish as to ignore the easy beauty provided to us here on this miracle of timing known as Earth. I'm just saying, if you live in the South Eastern United States and you don't appreciate the temperate nature of our climate you suck. Sorry, but you do.

Next up, cleaning house, job hunting and maybe visiting with friends. Sounds boring, right? Better than this nonsense. You know, the older I get the more convinced I am that the secret to a happy life is understanding and not trying to fight against the basic truth that life is about balance. Swing the pendulum of anything too far in one direction, you have problems. Which is why I agree so passionately with Krauthammer's column today (not unusual of course for me to agree with him but this one I found myself thanking God for because someone actually has the foresight and courage to write these things in a climate that does not look favorably on this particular opinion. Courage fascinates me. I love it. Literally.) Running amok and killing at Wal-Mart is savage -- it's the modern version of the fight over a carcass -- and while the market economy depends on the consumer, that pendulum has swung way too far in one direction when people trample someone in an effort to be the first to purchase the new blanket with sleeves or whatever ridiculous thing is being marketed to the masses at the moment.

And yet, as Krauthammer notes, politicizing the market to the extent that New York looks to Washington to call the shots, which, as he points out, is now pretty much the case, the pendulum has swung back and lopped off a few heads on the down swing.

Balance people. Balance. One of my favorite books is one of my favorite books because it makes much of the phrase "Don't Panic." Even when you're told you should. Usually the one telling you is simply trying to create confusion to further an agenda. Cynical? Yes. Also probably true.

Have a leftover filled weekend.

Turducken sounds gross to me

2008-11-26T12:26:00.005-05:00

Finishing up a few things at work -- yes, I know some of you people are already home but I had to come in despite the fact that I got home late from a gumbo/Back to the Future extravaganza (and to the gumbo maker -- you did your Louisiana ancestors proud sir).

Here's a clip I love from a great movie. Although technically not explicitly a Thanksgiving clip, it is nonetheless hilarious, features a turkey, and is perhaps the best maniacal laugh ever caught on film.

I love you people. Happy Thanksgiving!

And also there's this because OMG AWESOME!!!!!!

Breastmeat for everyone

2008-11-24T15:12:00.003-05:00

Just a primer for the coming Holiday. I'm still coming down from my dance and wedding cookie high. I'll catch ya later this week...

Staying sane through rhythm

2008-11-21T12:45:00.004-05:00

A friend of mine told me yesterday that she was heartened to see a recent interview that Barack and Michelle Obama gave where they talked to each other like "a real couple." She told me that at one point in the interview, Mr. Obama made a comment that he found doing the dishes peaceful (or something like that. I haven't seen the interview so this is second-hand info. If I'm wrong please let me know.) and his wife looked at her husband like he was loopy and said something to the effect of "When have you ever enjoyed doing the dishes?" as only a wife can. My friend found this comforting that these two had real dialogue, imperfect dialogue, just like the rest of us.

As for me, I can't decide. I think it's cool, too, to know that the Obamas are "real" and not some dressed up version of marriage that looks good politically (cough, cough, Clintons, cough, ahem) but it's a bit disconcerting that Michelle Obama is already looking at her husband like, "Who the hell are you?" Make him keep it real Michelle. For all our sakes.

There's a fun thing going down tonight that, if you don't already have plans, you should check out. The dance studio where I take classes is holding a fundraiser at Tasty World and the theme is 80s Prom. I just went and got a hideous bridesmaid dress from Goodwill and I'm certain it will be the least obnoxious outfit at the event. The music will be stellar -- this is the stuff I grew up listening to -- and there will be dance performances to boot. Yes, I could have performed in the piece to "Let's Get Physical" but I figure that being old enough to remember when that single dropped -- I was pretty young but I do remember it -- means I'm too old to shake it in a leotard for the college crowd at a bar. On stage in the Spring show, sure. But I gotta let the kids have the nightlife. Tomorrow, at the historic Morton Theater, the company from my studio (including the ballroom company, those crazies!) will be performing with other area studio companies just to kind of showcase how Athens does dance. Good times. I'll be ushering so come see and I'll find you a seat.

As I was driving to work this morning I had this inordinately strong desire to write the following (not sure why but I'm going with it) -- I have never before in my life wanted so badly to start the next phase of my life. It is very nearly painful. Not in an "AAARGH, get me out of here!" kind of way -- I love my town and I enjoy and appreciate all my friends here and the accomplishments I was lucky enough to make while living here -- but in a quiet, steady, it's just time to go kind of way. It's as if I've finished putting the puzzle together but I have to wait for someone to come by and approve the construction. I know where I want to be and that feels good -- it might be the first time in my life I've felt that way -- but this waiting is, as I said, almost physically taxing. My Pops says the only way to be really sucessful in the next phase of your life is to embrace the one you're in and enjoy it till the new one starts. That kicking against it and trying to rush the transition is the quickest way toward dissatisfaction. And so I wait --- *sigh* --- but I wait with hope and joy and friends and family. And dance.

And, for your Friday funny, here's something from Lord Somber that made me move this film to the top of my Netflix queue.

Have a hilariously melancholy weekend!

UPDATE: paybacks are hell CitiBank. I knew your bullying tactics regarding my mortgage were a harbinger for your own demise. Bad business acumen comes back to haunt you in the end. Take the lesson. (Thanks, Mom, for pointing this out.)

Steamroller, kimchi and the Ghost

2008-11-18T14:38:00.004-05:00

A shoutout to my aunt, who always sends me home with a huge jar of Kimchi that will last me for several months. I have a taste for the stuff you see. She taught me long ago to eat it rolled up with sticky rice in a leaf of iceberg lettuce. Delicious.

Also, because Lou and I had a nice long phone conversation last night and we haven't done that in a while, this is for you kid. Surprising how many people have never seen this movie. Surprising and tragic... Steamroller is the best game ever and I still say "It's a jelly" when I'm trying to win someone over. Or handing out donuts...

Okay, the ghost. (for you D.)

When I was about 8 or 9, my grandparents decided to renew their wedding vows to celebrate 40 years of marriage and had a huge crab feast/family reunion (called around for the photos but didn't get down to the ATL to have them scanned. Sorry.) at their Maryland home. All the women wore long, flowered sundresses and floppy sun hats while the men were in summer church attire. It was a marvelous party and I remember running with my cousins around the picnic tables, placed end to end to make one huge buffet table that was then topped with crab we had pulled out of the river that morning, g-ma had thrown in a boiling pot and then, when they stopped scratching around, were placed, still in their shells, on the outdoor tables (that's how we ate our crab you see. You were responsible for digging that meat out yourself. We didn't mess around...). I also recall trays and trays of yellow corn on the cob and lots of wine. Always lots of wine.

Because of the sheer number of people present -- and the lots of wine -- several guests were invited to stay at my g-parent's house and so my sister Lou and I were displaced from our regular room, the upstairs furnace room, and sent two houses down river to my Aunt "Dot's". I always liked my grandpa's sister (great) Aunt Dot. She had an easy laugh but also let you know pretty quick if you were nearing her fault line. And she collected porcelain shoes -- she had several glass cases in her home dedicated to this hobby and I remember thinking even then how strange and wonderful that was. I also remember being about 3 and a half (I have strange memories like this, confirmed by my mother, of being a toddler and a little older) and staying at my Aunt's house with my parents and waking up in the middle of the night and standing at the storm door in the kitchen that faced the back of the house and the driveway (I was so little that I didn't even reach the railing on the steps up to the door that I could see outside) and crying into the night for someone to come and get me out. I remember looking down my nightgown at the little ruffle that just covered my feet and thinking I wouldn't get far in my bare feet and that I couldn't reach the lock to get out anyway. But I was scared man. Really scared. Cut to 6 or 7 years later...

So, Lou and I get settled in Aunt Dot's upstairs room, a quaintly decorated, feminine space with flowered comforters on the twin beds (Mom, if I'm wrong, please let me know...) and a bedside table separating the beds with a cute Victorian lamp perched on top. There was even my Aunt's cat, who sat on the end of my bed that first night and never left, even though my sister was very much allergic and therefore hated cats. The wall at the head end of the bed sloped at a 45 degree angle -- like a barn -- and there was no door, just a curtain that led out to the hall. That curtain would become my tormentor.

I always read a lot as a kid and my sister and I had epic battles over turning off the light when I wanted to read and she wanted to sleep. I won that battle this night. Sometime in the late evening, as I was reading by that little Victorian lamp and Lou was sleeping with the comforter over her head, I noticed that cat, at my feet, staring at that curtain that led out into the hall. And it wasn't just looking in the curtain's direction, it was watching something. Something I couldn't see. I blew it off and continued to read until I became aware of that cat repeatedly moving it's head to watch what it was watching -- back and forth, like I had seen my pet cats do when I teased them with a sock or piece of string. I grew increasingly uncomfortable. Time passed and I went from reading a few lines of my book to staring at that curtain. At some point I became convinced that there was someone there in the hall, behind the curtain and it was a man. And not a corporeal man, but one I was definitely NOT prepared to encounter. I sat straight up in that bed all night, 8 hours or more, and watched the sky lighten over the river. And told no one. Because I had just freaked myself out, right? No such thing as ghosts...ridiculous.

That day was the ceremony and that evening I was back in that room and my sister, bless her, who normally would have steamrollered me for needing that light on AGAIN, I think must have known how scared I was because she never protested leaving the light on and even, when I began to weep from staring at that curtain and from pure exhaustion, let me crawl into bed with her and, when it became clear I was inconsolable, got up, pulled that curtain aside (I was horrified and didn't look) and went downstairs and got my Aunt. Aunt Dot called my parents at my g-parent's and Pop walked over and got me, still bawling and freaked out, and took me back down river where, I think, I slept on the living room floor in front of the fire. All I would say is that I'd had a bad dream. And my grandpa, the redheaded scamp that he was, said, "Yeah, I've had bad dreams like that. Once, I dreamt I was walking on a floor covered in boobs...I fell and got a bust in the mouth." I laughed and immediately felt like I could sleep for days. I've never been back in that room, or upstairs in that house, since.

I never revealed why my parents got that late night call to come get their youngest daughter who was crying and, possibly, stricken white from fear until I was in my early 20s and I was finally confessing to my older sister Juje my embarrassing attempt at sleeping in Aunt Dot's house. "I think it has a ghost," I told my sister, trying to sound as jokey as I could. "Oh," Juje said. "I've seen that ghost..."

Gulp. I won't tell her story. Maybe one day she'll reveal it. I'd love it if she would -- she's a better writer than I am -- but the post script here is that, just two weekends ago I was back there and my Aunt "Bitsy," whose father built that house and who lived there as a child, casually said that my Aunt Dot, years before my little episode, used to say that she could feel Bitsy's father there, making his fishing lures. In the upstairs room, across the hall from the quaint little room I stayed in.

Yeah Aunt Dot. I could feel him, too.

The mingling of the old and the new is a bittersweet affair

2008-11-14T14:30:00.036-05:00

While I feel sorry for myself, why don't you all enjoy a few pics from my most recent trip to the DC area. They include, but are not limited to: Chinatown; St. Patrick's in downtown DC; my Aunt Dorothy's haunted upstairs room window from which I watched the sun rise for two nights in a row because there was no way I was actually falling asleep in there; the g-parent's house (including the upstairs bathroom window I used to crawl out to hang out on the roof and watch the sunset over the water); aunt, uncle, beautiful cousin Anna; Bruce the Wonder Dog; dilapidated vineyard; my marvelous friend from high school and her impossibly beautiful son hiking at Great Falls, Md.; and, as always, my feet. Give it a twist this weekend.

A new day dawns

2008-11-13T14:52:00.002-05:00

This is confusing the hell out of me because I've actually heard many conservatives talk about how compulsory military service could be a good thing and I know Israel does something similar with some success I think. But I don't know...his "circle of love" comment smacks of snark and condescension. And, if it's come to this, it seems a fairly sobering need, not one we should be cavalier about. We'll see...